Original Title: WWE Elimination Chamber - Last PPV Before Wrestlemania!
Original Date Sent: February 15, 2013
Sent to: The crew who I assume care about wrestling (some more than others)
Context: Elimination Chamber is the last PPV before Wrestlemania, so I decided to update the folks who are attending live with me on the current situation.
A lot of people have been asking me about the scheduled matches for
Wrestlemania. So far I've been able to do little more than guess or
pass on the existing rumors. After this weekend though, things will be
much more clear. The Elimination Chamber PPV should do quite a bit to
shape the Wrestlemania card as most of the matches have big-time
implications and almost all of them have uncertain outcomes. More than
that though, it's a really stacked show that will in all likelihood be
way better than the somewhat disappointing Royal Rumble.
Pre-Show
Brodus Clay & Tensai vs. Team Rhodes Scholars (Damien Sandow & Cody Rhodes)
Rhodes Scholars had an amicable breakup a few weeks ago and Clay &
Tensai just started teaming. Tensai has gone through several
incarnations in his many years as a wrestler including Prince Albert,
Albert, A-Train, and Giant Bernard. He is now doing a gimmick where
Brodus Clay goads him into dancing. I can only assume that he is
looking across the ocean and swearing under his breath because his
former tag team partner Karl Anderson just had one of the best matches
of the year against Tanahashi in New Japan. Anyway, this should be a
short little thing to get the crowd going and I expect Rhodes Scholars
to lose together one last time.
Divas Championship Match
Kaitlyn (c) vs. Tamina Snuka
Tamina is the daughter of Jimmy "Superfly" Snuka and about twice as
manly. They've made no real effort to explain why this match is
happening, so I'm not really sure what to say with it. Kaitlyn and her
terrible hair will win.
United States Championship Match
Antonio Cesaro (c) vs. The Miz
Cesaro rules, Miz sucks. Cesaro did this
(http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=heePaLlHmms) to Miz on Raw this past
week. I'm pretty confident that Cesaro will hang onto his title until
Wrestlemania so instead of a real preview of this match, I'll instead
post links to Cesaro doing cool moves. Here's the Swiss Death
(http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GSkZNxliS0E). Here he is deadlifting
Kofi Kingston into the Neutralizer
(http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_detailpage&v=PNBtJ7u56Os#t=190s).
And here's a montage of his greatest uppercuts
(http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vENrfJpNbXE).
The Shield (Dean Ambrose & Seth Rollins & Roman Reigns) vs. John Cena
& Sheamus & Ryback
Cena needed something to do until Wrestlemania so he's teamed up with
two other bland good-guys to take on the upstarts from NXT. The Shield
have only had one official match during their time in WWE and that was
way back at TLC in December. Luckily, it was incredible. Ambrose and
Rollins have serious indie cred and Reigns is a member of the Samoan
Dynasty that includes The Rock, Yokozuna, and Rikishi. This should at
least be a fun brawl and maybe, just maybe, Cena's team will lose.
World Heavyweight Championship Match
Alberto Del Rio (c) vs. The Big Show
This is another one that's carrying over from last month. At the Royal
Rumble, Del Rio won a Last Man Standing match by taping Big Show's
legs to the bottom rope. They've had a fun little feud for the past
couple months and it's the Big Show's best work in years. Del Rio has
also upped his game since turning face. But perhaps what matters most
here is a man who's not even in the match. Dolph Ziggler is still
lurking with the Money in the Bank briefcase and it seems hard to
believe that he'll wait until after Wrestlemania to cash in his title
shot. If your internet explodes for some reason on Sunday night, it'll
be because Ziggler walked out of the building with the title.
Elimination Chamber Match
Chris Jericho vs. Randy Orton vs. Daniel Bryan vs. Kane vs. Mark Henry
vs. Jack Swagger
This match is to determine the Number One Contender for the World
Heavyweight title. Lots going on here. First, the Chamber itself. It's
basically a real life version of Thunderdome: a rounded cage covered
with chains and surrounded by suspended metal platforms adjacent to
the ring apron. In each corner are four sealed pods. Two men start out
and every four minutes a pod opens and a new participant enters the
match. It's a ridiculous and insane spectacle of a match and this has
the potential to be one of the best incarnations ever thanks to a
solid group of participants. Jericho recently returned from a long
hiatus and picked up right where he left off in his feud with Dolph
Ziggler (they were also the first two participants in the Royal Rumble
and lasted nearly the whole way). Daniel Bryan and Kane are the
current Tag Team Champions and their love/hate relationship continues.
Swagger and Henry also each returned from long absences. Henry has
picked up where he left off as a trash-talking wrecking ball while
Swagger has adopted an ultra-right wing persona (complete with new
manager "Dirty" Dutch Mantel (under some other dumb WWE name)). Randy
Orton is also there to hit a bunch of RKOs and make goofy faces. At
least four of these guys have a realistic shot at winning, but I think
Jericho has the most star power to bring to a Wrestlemania match.
WWE Championship Match
The Rock (c) vs. CM Punk
I was pretty upset about their match at Royal Rumble, as evidenced by
the fact that I wrote two different articles about it
(http://emailsihavesent.blogspot.com/2013/01/2013-royal-rumble-recap.html
and http://www.layfieldreport.com/How-Monday-Night-Raw-healed-my-.news).
I was an emotional wreck for days afterwards and it's as irrationally
upset as I've ever gotten about fake fighting. This time there is a
stipulation attached wherein Rock would lose the title if he is
disqualified. I expect some sort of shenanigans involving Punk's
manager Paul Heyman and possibly Brock Lesnar as well. Rock will
probably walk away with the title again though. But how that happens
largely depends on an outside factor, namely if Undertaker decides to
be a part of Wrestlemania or not. For a few months, Undertaker has
been Punk's rumored Wrestlemania opponent, but Taker himself (who has
largely retired) hasn't committed to doing the show due to health
concerns. If he declines, then it's possible that Punk will be thrown
into the main event with Rock and Cena. I'm actually incredibly
conflicted if that's the case. Would I rather see Punk main event or
see Undertaker live at Wrestlemania?
Hopefully this time I will be able to keep my hissy fits in check and
not spend the remainder of the night laying on the floor in the dark
and listening to "After the Gold Rush" on repeat.
