NJPW Wrestle Kingdom 8 Preview

Original Title: Tokyo Dome!
Original Date Sent: January 3, 2014
Sent to: The other people I know who have any sort of puro awareness
Context: It's the Tokyo Dome. I had to dash off a quick preview after work and before my nap.

Tonight is New Japan's annual trip to the Tokyo Dome, the Far Eastern equivalent to Wrestlemania. Last year's edition, Wrestle Kingdom 7, was arguably the best show of 2013 and this year's card is even more stacked. It features several big title matches, a couple legit blood feuds, and even an odd exhibition match pitting two old dudes against two MMA duds. Truly something for everyone!

The show goes live at 3 am East Coast time.

Let's take a look at each match.

Pre-Show Match

BUSHI & Captain New Japan & Tomoaki Honma & Hiroyoshi Tenzan vs. Yohei Komatsu & Jushin Liger & Super Strong Machine & Manabu Nakanishi

These multi-man tags are always a fun little bonus. If you feel like you need the extra 15 minutes of sleep though, you're probably not going to miss much.

IWGP Junior Heavyweight Tag Team Title Match

The Young Bucks (Matt & Nick Jackson) (c) vs. Forever Hooligans (Rocky Romero & Alex Koslov) vs. Time Splitters (Alex Shelley & KUSHIDA) vs. Suzuki-gun (TAKA Michinoku & Taichi)

The Young Bucks have taken the New Japan Juniors division by storm, winning the Junior Heavyweight Tag Belts in their first tour with the company. Now the three mainstays of the division in 2013 are all looking to win the titles back. This should be as insane a sprint as we've ever seen. Like mid-90's lucha insane. Like late 90's M-Pro insane. Maybe not peak Toryumon 12-man tag insane, but probably close! All eight of these guys can go and they will surely be let off the reins here. I expect the Young Bucks to retain.

IWGP Tag Team Title Match

Killer Ellite Squad (Davey Boy Smith Jr. & Lance Archer) (c) vs. The Bullet Club ("Machine Gun" Karl Anderson & Luke Gallows)

Four monster gaijins, three of them former WWE guys, square off in what should be a good old-fashion slugfest. KES have been sometimes great and sometimes bland throughout the past year, but if anyone is going to bring out the best in them it's Karl Anderson. Anderson, the lone non-WWE alumnus, has grown into one of the best bullies in the world over the past few years. He is no stranger to the tag ranks having previously been in high profile teams with Hirooki Goto and Giant Bernard (aka Prince Albert aka A-Train aka Lord Tensai aka Sweet T). Bullet Club takes this one to keep some gold in the stable.

NWA World Heavyweight Title Match

Rob Conway (c) vs. Satoshi Kojima

Yeah, that NWA title. It's still around and it's still being defended. In fact, Conway has been to Japan multiple times this year and so far beaten all challengers. Now, these haven't exactly been classic matches. No one is mistaking Rob Conway for Ric Flair. But it's nice to see the title get some much needed stability and be showcased on the biggest show of the year outside of North America. Conway probably retains.

Yuji Nagata & Kazushi Sakuraba vs. Rolles Gracie & Daniel Gracie

Here's what you need to know about this match. Back in his MMA days, Sakuraba was known as "The Gracie Hunter." The two men across the ring from him happen to be the two schlubiest members of the Gracie family. Yep. Yuji Nagata is there to put dudes in armbars and maybe throw some slaps around. The Gracies do one more job to Sakuraba and laugh all the way to the bank.

Minoru Suzuki & Shelton X Benjamin vs. Toru Yano & THE GREAT MUTA

Yano has been messing with Suzuki for quite awhile now. Suzuki, of course, is just about the last person you want to piss off. So who does Yano call in as backup? Oh, just some dude known as THE GREAT MUTA!!! For comparison's sake, this would be like Titus O'Neil becoming a thorn in Brock Lesnar's side and then revealing that his mystery partner is the fucking Undertaker. And Shelton Benjamin would be, I don't know, Shelton Benjamin I guess. I have no idea who is going to win this one. I suspect that Suzuki stays strong though.

King of Destroyer Match

Bad Luck Fale vs. Togi Makabe

Fale tries to prove that he's good for more than just carrying Prince Devitt to the ring on his shoulders. Makabe is just looking for somebody to punch. This is definitely the match that has the tallest mountain to climb as far as "being good" goes. At best, this will feel like a pre-CGI deleted scene from Pacific Rim. On the bright side, it gives Bryan Alvarez yet another opportunity to say "Bad Luck Fale" in an exasperated tone. Makabe wins, I guess?

Hirooki Goto vs. Katsuyori Shibata

These guys kicked the crap out of each other all last spring in what was growing into one of the most intense feuds in all of wrestling. Then Goto, wrestling's equivalent of Bad Luck Brian, suffered a dislocated jaw just before their series was to continue at the G1. Shibata went on to have a five snowflake encounter with Tomohiro Ishii later in the tournament, cementing himself as a guy who can both dish out and endure ungodly amounts of punishments. As usual, people have forgotten how good Goto can be. I expect him to finally put down his former high school pal and become a contender to one of the top two belts.

IWPG Junior Heavyweight Title Match

Prince Devitt (c) vs. Kota Ibushi

Devitt was given quite the push over the summer following his big heel turn and the formation of the Bullet Club. Unfortunately, that meant that the most prestigious junior heavyweight belt in the world fell by the wayside. Now that Ibushi has been signed as a full-timer, however, I expect that to quickly change. It's time for the best Junior Heavyweight in the world to hold the division's top title. Sure, it's possible that this gets extended to a drawn out feud. But I expect the Irishman to drop the title and move onto other matters with the New Japan Cup coming up in March.

IWGP World Heavyweight Title Match

Kazuchika Okada (c) vs.Tetsuya Naito

The Rainmaker won the title from Hiroshi Tanahashi for the second time in an absolute classic back in April. He then retained the title in a series of fantastic defenses that culminated in another Match of the Decade Contender with Tanahashi. Meanwhile, Naito returned from a long injury layoff and promptly won the G1, situating him as the #1 Contender. In response, New Japan crowds have booed the hell out of the would-be babyface with an intensity that would make even John Cena blush. I don't know what "If Naito Wins We Riot" looks like in kanji, but that will certainly be the sentiment among much of the 40,000+ who will be in attendance. One other note is that this match was demoted from the main event slot thanks to a fan vote held last month. All of this is a little unfair to Naito. Sure, he hasn't been the same guy since coming back from injury. But this is the guy who helped give legitimacy to Okada's initial title run as one half of his first truly great match. It will be fascinating to see how the crowd reacts as this contest comes down to the wire. I'm hoping that Okada retains, but I'm far from convinced that he will.

IWGP Intercontinental Title Match

Shinsuke Nakamura (c) vs. Hiroshi Tanahashi

The two biggest stars at the biggest show of the year. There you go. Since they last met, both guys have improved immensely. Tanahashi is arguably the best wrestler in the world right now and has seized his place among the all time greats. Nakamura has developed the most distinct, charismatic character in the company while being no small shakes in the ring himself. The company itself has undergone a renaissance and is unquestionably the #2 promotion in the world. Now the twin scions of New Japan finally meet again. I'm thinking that Tanahashi wins to send the crowd home happy and set up the Chaos breakup and next year's Nakamura/Okada main event. But we shall see.

Okay, time to get some sleep. I'll be dreaming of High Fly Flows and Rainmakers until 3am. Enjoy!

Intro to Puro

Original Title: Intro to Puro
Original Date Sent: August 5, 2013
Sent to: A fellow smark who was looking to get into Japanese wrestling.
Context: The world of puro can be impenetrable to a newcomer. The language barrier, vastly different style, and unfamiliar performers all contribute to the sense that if you didn't start a long time ago it's impossible to catch up. But it's really not, I promise! Below is a list of a dozen matches with varying degrees of importance that can serve as a gateway to the world of puro.


Welcome to Japanese Wrestling 101, a survey course where we will examine the essential wrestlers, companies, and matches that have taken place in the Land of the Rising Sun. The syllabus below is by no means exhaustive, but it should provide the foundation on which to build further knowledge of the art of puroresu.

New Japan Pro Wrestling - Strong Style in Action

"Strong Style" has been misconstrued to mean "Japanese Wrestling" since the early days of tape trading. It is in fact a very specific style that was employed to great effect in the 80's, 90's, and beyond in NJPW. The style emphasizes realism as part of its psychology. Matches are fought using strikes and submission holds to wear down an opponent in similar fashion to an MMA fight (New Japan boss Antonio Inoki was, for better or worse, a big fan of MMA). In recent years they have converted to a more traditional American style for the most part, but echoes of true Strong Style remain.

Rick & Scott Steiner vs. Hiroshi Hase & Kensuke Sasaki (3/21/91) - For a few years WCW and NJPW had a working agreement and would occasionally put on supershows together. This is probably the best remembered match of that talent exchange (I suppose Pillman/Liger is the only other contender). This was long considered to be the perfect entryway into puro thanks to the familiar names, the English announcers, and the high quality of the work in the match. Today it serves as a refreshing reminder that Scott Steiner used to be one of the world's best in-ring workers.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=D-otSISZYDU 

El Samurai vs. Koji Kanemoto (6/5/97) - While Jushin "Thunder" Liger is the acknowledged king of the New Japan Juniors style and one of the great workers to ever step into the ring, the match that really lit the world on fire during the 90's was between two relative journeymen. El Samurai had a few other gems under his belt (especially the famous match against Liger) but was never considered one of the top talents in the division. Kanemoto had recently come off an uninspiring run as Tiger Mask III (the least of the four Tiger Masks by far). Yet somehow together they created a war for the ages that is still rarely topped in even the most dizzying of ROH spotfest head drop 2 7/8 kickout matches. Davey Richards wishes his whole life was this match.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9EpG8c66bUQ&list=PL2B846BDB58009CFC

Hiroshi Tanahashi vs. Kazuchika Okada (4/7/13) - The most recent 5 star encounter and as good an entrance into the contemporary greatness of New Japan as you're going to find. Tanahashi is the ace of the company and combines the best qualities of Shawn Michaels, John Cena, and Ricky Steamboat. Okada is a flashy heel with a much more American bearing who nevertheless has caught fire in the past 18 months and become the company's biggest star. He is also, in my opinion, the best wrestler in the world today. This is their fourth match and the most epic. It will be remembered not only at the end of the year, but at the end of the decade as well. I watched this match with my brother and even though we knew the result beforehand, we were still jumping around his living room for the last ten minutes.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UClzX0Uo4Fk

All Japan Pro Wrestling - A Walk Down King's Road

In contrast to New Japan's "Strong Style," All Japan matches are associated with a style known as "King's Road." I have no idea where that name comes from despite extensive digging. These matches are a mix of stoicism, Southern brawling, and life-shortening suplexes. In my mind, it is also the very height of professional wrestling. The matches build on each other so that things that happen in 1989 have been hinted at since 1975 (no kidding) and the entire decade of the 90's seems to be of one intricate novel written to reflect the human drama through elbow strikes and brainbusters. What follows is the evolution of the style in five of its most important matches. If you like these, there are literally a hundred other matches on the same level that you can explore.

Jumbo Tsuruta vs. Genichiro Tenryu (6/5/89) - Jumbo and Tenryu were the twin pillars of All Japan in the 80's and this seemed as if it would be the signature rivalry in the company for years to come. It was not to be, however, as Tenryu decided to try his hand as a freelancer and promoter while Jumbo was felled prematurely by a severe illness. But before their paths diverged, they created a style of wrestling that can only be described as a sea change. It took All Japan from doing British and Southern style main events to deeply layered, fast paced, high impact epics that more closely resemble a Tolstoy novel than pro rasslin'. And before you get all "Hey, I didn't start watching wrestling because I wanted to write a PhD dissertation on it someday," don't worry...they hit each other very hard and it is awesome.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=V0ZHP-HCjAM

Jumbo Tsuruta vs. Mitsuhara Misawa (6/8/90) - There's a story in the Genesis where Jacob wrestles God himself. After their meeting, Jacob is given a blessing that will make him the father of nations. This match is the puro equivalent of that story. For all intents and purposes, Jumbo Tsuruta was no less than a deity in All Japan. He dominated the company for at least fifteen years prior to this match, was the first Triple Crown champion, and had that indefinable "I own this company" aura that only a select few ever achieve (even some guys who, you know, literally own the company sometimes fail to reach that level). Misawa is the young upstart who had just shed the Tiger Mask II persona and set out to be his own man. 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0ztnhHbL20U

Stan Hansen vs. Kenta Kobashi (7/29/93) - The story of All Japan wouldn't be complete without a little bit of gaijin representation. None stood higher than Stan Hansen. He established his legend in both of Japan's major companies as both a singles and tag competitor. And yet for everything he accomplished, it is this match for which he is probably best remembered. Kobashi was still a rising talent at this point, but he seems to think that he's on the same level as the Texas hoss. This is a mistake. The viewer benefits.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JlpgULnBmnE

Mitsuhara Misawa vs. Toshiaki Kawada (6/3/94) - Dean Rasmussen once described this match as being not only great, but having an otherworldly quality akin to Roy Orbison's voice or a Matisse painting. Kawada more than anyone else served as the perfect foil to Misawa. Jumbo was from a different generation, Kobashi was too similar. But Kawada was Misawa's former partner and seamlessly slipped into the top heel role in All Japan after Jumbo's sudden decline. He was so good in that role that it was hard to believe he was ever a face. His mullet, his broken teeth, his black and yellow attire, the chip that constantly seemed to weigh on his shoulder, the brutal kick-based offense, the stoic demeanor. I know I haven't given many details on the match but it's really not needed. I suppose it helps to know that up to this point Kawada has never beaten Misawa. Even then, like all great art, this match speaks for itself. Does it help to be well schooled in Latin and to have a deep understanding on both Roman and Greek culture, history, and mythology in order to appreciate The Aeneid? Sure. But can you go in cold with the Dryden translation and still view it as one of the finest works in the early Western canon? Absolutely. And, actually, the more I think about this match the more it feels like the latter half of The Aeneid with Misawa as Aeneas and Kawada as Turnus. But I'll save that for another essay down the line.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HqftofXcukE 

Mitsuhara Misawa & Kenta Kobashi vs. Toshiaki Kawada & Akira Taue (6/9/95) - Hands down, no doubt about it, my favorite pro wrestling match of all time. It is absolute perfection in every way and the pinnacle of wrestling as narrative, wrestling as art, and wrestling as athletic pursuit. It is the Four Corners of Heaven earning their nickname. I've written about this match several times so I won't here. But if you're not sold on puro after the drama, intensity, and sheer emotional enormity of this match then Japanese wrestling is just not for you.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ALyg-EhxbgI

NOAH, Indies, and Beyond

Japanese wrestling is not just All Japan and New Japan. Several other companies have sprung up over the years with other distinct styles. Below is a sampling of these matches.

Naomichi Marufuji & KENTA vs. Ikuto Hidaka & Minoru Fujita (5/8/05) - A new generation of puro fans was made during KENTA's emergence in the mid-2000's. He's a floppy-haired kick machine who fit in perfectly with the style that was emerging on this side of the Pacific at the time. This is probably the most "familiar" match on the list as all four guys have experience working on the American indies and weren't afraid to bring some of that style back with them. This slot could have gone to any number of KENTAFuji tags and this purely comes down to personal preference.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EKM5NVogvlI

Tomoaki Honma vs. Ryuji Yamakawa (6/20/99) - Though it sounds odd, many fans got their initial taste of puro through the deathmatch route. The famous Foley/Funk match is probably the best known avenue and it speaks to the high amount of transpacific crossover that seems to take place in the division, whether in FMW, Big Japan, or other lesser known companies. I decided to go with the jewel of the Big Japan Deathmatch Bible since it has all the scuminess of an American deathmatch coupled with the epic grandeur of traditional puro (Honma later went on to legitimate midcard stardom in the bigger Japanese companies). It has a really unique feel that won't be replicated in CZW anytime soon.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ruoh9ZNuu70

Thunderqueen: Aja Kong & Kyoko Inoue & Takako Inoue & Sakie Hasegawa vs. Dynamite Kansai & Mayumi Ozaki & Cuty Suzuki & Hikari Fukouka (7/31/93) - While you're trying new things, you might as well give Joshi a shot. I'm not the biggest fan and I certainly don't follow it very heavily, but this match is AWESOME. Even if you nothing about the background of the match, I guarantee a markout moment the first time Aja Kong and Dynamite Kansai face off. Speaking of Kong, she's easily one of the great monsters in the history of pro wrestling and deserves to be spoken of in the same breath as The Undertaker, Andre the Giant, and Goldberg. I have never not been impressed by her. The one thing to keep in mind is the rules. It's an Ironman Match (err...Ironwomen Match?) that is broken up into four singles matches that are five minutes apiece followed by all eight going toe to toe for forty minutes in a tag match. It has to do with two promotions going to war with each other but whatever. It's eight people going insane for an hour. There are better Joshi matches out there, but none are better as an introduction to the style.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Wh4pkWv9cSE

Kaientai DX (TAKA Michinoku & Dick Togo & MEN's Teioh & Sho Funaki & Shiryu) vs. Super Delfin & Gran Hamada & Tiger Mask IV & Gran Naniwa & Masato Yakushiji (10/10/96) - And finally, some Lucharesu. I was going to throw some Toryumon or Dragon Gate in this spot, but it's too hard to find the best stuff on youtube. So we'll go with the forefathers of this style instead. You'll recognize at least a few of these names from their ventures in WWE (and Shiryun is WCW's Kaz Hayashi). What you may not know is just how great these guys are when they're in their element. TAKA especially is mindblowing when you compare his work in WWF/E to his work in Japan. There are a whole bunch of multi-man tags like this from that time period but this was the most widely seen on the tape trading circuit.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hNqkwY4pP2Q

I think 12 is enough for now. Hope this wasn't too long-winded. Enjoy!

Wrestlemania 29 Preview

Original Title: WRESTLEMANIA
Original Date Sent: April 2, 2013
Sent to: The people with whom I will be attending this spectacular event.
Context: Umm...it's Wrestlemania! And I'm going! Hopefully I won't be too stuffed/sick from our tailgate to properly enjoy the Showcase of the Immortals.

This is it! It’s finally here! We’re just five days away from Wrestlemania 29 at Metlife Stadium in not-so-beautiful East Rutherford, New Jersey. I’ll be in attendance for my first live WWE PPV since Summerslam 2004 in Toronto. It’s shaping up to be an interesting show with several matches that could go either way (both in terms of quality and results). Here’s a match-by-match preview.

Tons of Funk (Brodus Clay & Tensai) & The Funkadactyls (Cameron & Naomi) vs. Team Rhodes Scholars (Damien Sandow & Cody Rhodes) & The Bella Twins

This will most likely be the pre-show match to get the crowd excited since in WWE fat dudes dancing and women catfighting equals excitement. But the real excitement in this match comes in the form of the best duo in all of wrestling, Damien Sandow and Cody Rhodes. The Rhodes Scholars, best friends and intellectual elites, split up after losing yet another match for the Tag Team Titles at Royal Rumble. They’ve since repeatedly done special reunions (in part as an in-joke on the constant DX reunions done by WWE) and seem to be a permanent fixture once again. This will probably be short and the funky dinosaur themed team will probably win.

Chris Jericho vs. Fandango

Fandango is a newly-debuted evil ballroom dancer. This will be his first official match. He’s picked a fight with Jericho because Jericho has been making fun of his name in a very Chris Jericho way. So yeah, there’s not much there. But given Y2J’s popularity and the way that Johnny Curtis has embraced his new character, Fandango is sure to be the most lustily booed person in the arena not named John Cena.

Intercontinental Title Match

Wade Barrett © vs. The Miz

Ah yes, three things involved here that WWE seems to have no idea what to do with: Wade Barrett, The Miz, and the Intercontinental Title. It’s lead to a rather uninspiring build for a match that is in danger of being equally uninspiring. Then again, Barrett is a former bare knuckle boxing champion and Miz has a very punchable face.

Ryback vs. Mark Henry

Two giant guys trying to lift and punch each other. Ryback is sort of like a shorter version of Goldberg mixed with a paintless version of The Ultimate Warrior in Rob Van Dam’s airbrushed singlet. Mark Henry is a trash-talking monster who is so thick and so wide that he could be said to blot out the sun. This seems like it’ll be a showcase for Ryback, who despite his dominance hasn’t managed to notch a PPV win since early last fall.

WWE Tag Team Title Match

Team Hell No (Daniel Bryan & Kane) © vs. Dolph Ziggler & Big E Langston

Now here’s a match that I’m excited to see. Last year at Wrestlemania, Daniel Bryan lost the World Heavyweight Title to Sheamus in just eighteen seconds. The next night on Raw, the crowd drowned out every single segment with “YES!” chants in support of Daniel Bryan and in protest of the injustice that the best pure wrestler in the world did not get a proper Wrestlemania match. From there, Bryan was given PPV matches for both top titles and eventually won the Tag Titles as one half of a mismatched partners team with Kane. The duo has continued to be a crowd-favorite and it seems likely that they’ll hang onto the titles for at least another month. On the other side of the ring is a team consisting of two other favorites of the internet set: Dolph Ziggler and Big E Langston. Last year at Wrestlemania, Ziggler did this: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yni4FUi9ZYc. He is also currently the holder of the Money in the Bank briefcase for the World Heavyweight Title (more on that later). Big E was recently called up from WWE’s developmental program NXT (where he was one of my the most popular characters) to be Ziggler’s muscle. This will be his debut match. Also in Ziggler’s corner is his girlfriend AJ Lee. AJ has previously dated both Daniel Bryan and Kane and is the main impetus for this match taking place. If this gets the time it deserves it could be one of the best matches of the show.

The Shield (Dean Ambrose & Seth Rollins & Roman Reigns) vs. Randy Orton & Sheamus & The Big Show

The Shield have had three matches in WWE since debuting at Survivor Series. They have won them all and each has been excellent. They work together so well as a team and all three guys are perfect fits for their respective roles. This time they go up against a trio of top stars with nothing else to do at Wrestlemania. Luckily, they’re also three guys who seem willing to make younger talent look good and are big enough stars to warrant a lengthy Wrestlemania match. In a night where a lot of good guys are going to get redemption, this seems like the perfect match for the bad guys to come out on top. My other prediction is that Roman Reigns will spear The Big Show through something cool (sort of like these two: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4415QDNC5Mg).

World Heavyweight Title Match

Alberto Del Rio © vs. Jack Swagger

Okay, let’s see here. Del Rio used to be a charismatic bad guy but recently reformed. He had a few good months as a face but has turned fairly bland during the Wrestlemania build. Swagger was off TV for a long time and was brought back recently as an anti-immigration Tea Party type complete with a right wing manager in a fishing vest. Swagger got a little bit of mainstream buzz due to a short-lived spat with Glenn Beck but that has long since fizzled. All that being said, this match could still be really good. Del Rio grew up in the business and was an accomplished amateur wrestler before entering the lucha circuit. Del Rio is also much better at longer matches than the eight minute TV affairs that he’s been getting lately. Swagger is limited, but can certainly hold up his end of the bargain in the ring. Regardless of who wins, however, it seems likely that the man to walk out of Wrestlemania with the World Heavyweight Title will be Dolph Ziggler (and given how stale both Del Rio and Swagger are at the moment, it might even get the biggest pop of the night).

No Holds Barred Match

Triple H vs. Brock Lesnar

If Triple H loses this match he will retire. Nevermind that he’s pretty much retired already, wrestling only two matches in 2012. Lesnar has been a whirlwind and a breath of fresh air whenever he’s shown up on TV during the last year (not to mention the fact that he had the Match of the Year for WWE with John Cena at Extreme Rules). The match between these two at Summerslam was a little underwhelming, but this still has the potential to be awesome. Conventional wisdom has it that Triple H will get his win back and live to fight another day. But it’s certainly possible that Lesnar, rumored to have signed on for two more years, could lay waste to The Game and set himself up as the top contender for the WWE Title. Perhaps an Extreme Rules rematch with Cena is in the cards?

The Undertaker vs. CM Punk

Undertaker has never lost at Wrestlemania and in recent years his matches have been among the most anticipated and important on the card. This year he is paired with CM Punk, fresh off a 400+ day reign as WWE Champion. It seemed as if this would be a match purely about Punk trying to prove that he’s the best in the world and that he can end the streak. But then Paul Bearer, Undertaker’s former manager, died. During a tribute segment at the subsequent Raw, Punk stole the urn that was implicated to hold Bearer’s ashes and has since made a show of tossing it around and dropping it and throwing it like a football. Punk even went so far as to dump the ashes all over Undertaker last night on Raw. He’s been at his dickhead best and it’s added a new dimension to a match that otherwise didn’t have much of a reason to exist. It’s also worth noting that The Undertaker, despite his advanced age, has had the best match at Wrestlemania for at least the last four years in a row. This is easily my most anticipated match of the night and could really be something special. Undertaker will surely win and continue his legendary undefeated streak, but I guarantee there will be at least one point where everybody’s disbelief is thoroughly suspended for 2.9 seconds (like this moment last year: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9My_lvydYDs). The only thing missing from Punk’s resume at this point is a signature Wrestlemania bout. This could be it.

WWE Championship Match

The Rock © vs. John Cena

Since Wrestlemania is taking place at an outdoor stadium in the Northeast, it’s probably worth checking the weather report. Sunday looks to be cloudy with a high of fifty-four degrees and a 100% chance of raining garbage when John Cena wins this match. Ironically enough, the only way this won’t happen is if Cena finally turns heel. Rock is a movie star, Cena is the number one guy in the company. Rock is the champion and beat Cena at Wrestlemania last year. There’s some other stuff going on, but this one is all about 80,000 people slinging hate at John Cena. Surely, the “Cena Sucks” chants will be heard for miles in all directions; Trenton, Mineola, and White Plains. The air lingering above New Jersey will become even more polluted with the acid and bile spewed forth from the mouths of the massive anti-Cena contingent. It’s going to be a beautiful thing (and this is gonna be me: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ACKWK55Ic9M).

WWE Elimination Chamber 2013 Preview

Original Title: WWE Elimination Chamber - Last PPV Before Wrestlemania!
Original Date Sent: February 15, 2013
Sent to: The crew who I assume care about wrestling (some more than others)
Context: Elimination Chamber is the last PPV before Wrestlemania, so I decided to update the folks who are attending live with me on the current situation.


A lot of people have been asking me about the scheduled matches for Wrestlemania. So far I've been able to do little more than guess or pass on the existing rumors. After this weekend though, things will be much more clear. The Elimination Chamber PPV should do quite a bit to shape the Wrestlemania card as most of the matches have big-time implications and almost all of them have uncertain outcomes. More than that though, it's a really stacked show that will in all likelihood be way better than the somewhat disappointing Royal Rumble.

Pre-Show
Brodus Clay & Tensai vs. Team Rhodes Scholars (Damien Sandow & Cody Rhodes)
Rhodes Scholars had an amicable breakup a few weeks ago and Clay & Tensai just started teaming. Tensai has gone through several incarnations in his many years as a wrestler including Prince Albert, Albert, A-Train, and Giant Bernard. He is now doing a gimmick where Brodus Clay goads him into dancing. I can only assume that he is looking across the ocean and swearing under his breath because his former tag team partner Karl Anderson just had one of the best matches of the year against Tanahashi in New Japan. Anyway, this should be a short little thing to get the crowd going and I expect Rhodes Scholars to lose together one last time.

Divas Championship Match 
Kaitlyn (c) vs. Tamina Snuka
Tamina is the daughter of Jimmy "Superfly" Snuka and about twice as manly. They've made no real effort to explain why this match is happening, so I'm not really sure what to say with it. Kaitlyn and her terrible hair will win.

United States Championship Match
Antonio Cesaro (c) vs. The Miz
Cesaro rules, Miz sucks. Cesaro did this (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=heePaLlHmms) to Miz on Raw this past week. I'm pretty confident that Cesaro will hang onto his title until Wrestlemania so instead of a real preview of this match, I'll instead post links to Cesaro doing cool moves. Here's the Swiss Death (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GSkZNxliS0E). Here he is deadlifting Kofi Kingston into the Neutralizer (http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_detailpage&v=PNBtJ7u56Os#t=190s). And here's a montage of his greatest uppercuts (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vENrfJpNbXE).

The Shield (Dean Ambrose & Seth Rollins & Roman Reigns) vs. John Cena & Sheamus & Ryback
Cena needed something to do until Wrestlemania so he's teamed up with two other bland good-guys to take on the upstarts from NXT. The Shield have only had one official match during their time in WWE and that was way back at TLC in December. Luckily, it was incredible. Ambrose and Rollins have serious indie cred and Reigns is a member of the Samoan Dynasty that includes The Rock, Yokozuna, and Rikishi. This should at least be a fun brawl and maybe, just maybe, Cena's team will lose.

World Heavyweight Championship Match 
Alberto Del Rio (c) vs. The Big Show 
This is another one that's carrying over from last month. At the Royal Rumble, Del Rio won a Last Man Standing match by taping Big Show's legs to the bottom rope. They've had a fun little feud for the past couple months and it's the Big Show's best work in years. Del Rio has also upped his game since turning face. But perhaps what matters most here is a man who's not even in the match. Dolph Ziggler is still lurking with the Money in the Bank briefcase and it seems hard to believe that he'll wait until after Wrestlemania to cash in his title shot. If your internet explodes for some reason on Sunday night, it'll be because Ziggler walked out of the building with the title.

Elimination Chamber Match 
Chris Jericho vs. Randy Orton vs. Daniel Bryan vs. Kane vs. Mark Henry vs. Jack Swagger 
This match is to determine the Number One Contender for the World Heavyweight title. Lots going on here. First, the Chamber itself. It's basically a real life version of Thunderdome: a rounded cage covered with chains and surrounded by suspended metal platforms adjacent to the ring apron. In each corner are four sealed pods. Two men start out and every four minutes a pod opens and a new participant enters the match. It's a ridiculous and insane spectacle of a match and this has the potential to be one of the best incarnations ever thanks to a solid group of participants. Jericho recently returned from a long hiatus and picked up right where he left off in his feud with Dolph Ziggler (they were also the first two participants in the Royal Rumble and lasted nearly the whole way). Daniel Bryan and Kane are the current Tag Team Champions and their love/hate relationship continues. Swagger and Henry also each returned from long absences. Henry has picked up where he left off as a trash-talking wrecking ball while Swagger has adopted an ultra-right wing persona (complete with new manager "Dirty" Dutch Mantel (under some other dumb WWE name)). Randy Orton is also there to hit a bunch of RKOs and make goofy faces. At least four of these guys have a realistic shot at winning, but I think Jericho has the most star power to bring to a Wrestlemania match.

WWE Championship Match 
The Rock (c) vs. CM Punk
I was pretty upset about their match at Royal Rumble, as evidenced by the fact that I wrote two different articles about it (http://emailsihavesent.blogspot.com/2013/01/2013-royal-rumble-recap.html and http://www.layfieldreport.com/How-Monday-Night-Raw-healed-my-.news). I was an emotional wreck for days afterwards and it's as irrationally upset as I've ever gotten about fake fighting. This time there is a stipulation attached wherein Rock would lose the title if he is disqualified. I expect some sort of shenanigans involving Punk's manager Paul Heyman and possibly Brock Lesnar as well. Rock will probably walk away with the title again though. But how that happens largely depends on an outside factor, namely if Undertaker decides to be a part of Wrestlemania or not. For a few months, Undertaker has been Punk's rumored Wrestlemania opponent, but Taker himself (who has largely retired) hasn't committed to doing the show due to health concerns. If he declines, then it's possible that Punk will be thrown into the main event with Rock and Cena. I'm actually incredibly conflicted if that's the case. Would I rather see Punk main event or see Undertaker live at Wrestlemania?

Hopefully this time I will be able to keep my hissy fits in check and not spend the remainder of the night laying on the floor in the dark and listening to "After the Gold Rush" on repeat.

2013 Royal Rumble Recap

Original Title: Royal Rumble Recap
Original Date Sent: January 28, 2013
Sent to: A bunch of people who were not awake when I sent this at like three in the morning.
Context: WWE eviscerated me and I couldn't help but write an immediate recap. I did not proofread it when I sent it and for posterity I've left it as is.


I write to you with a heavy heart. For the Royal Rumble has come and gone and I feel emotionally gutted. The king is dead. The status quo reigns supreme. I am literally laying on the floor of my room listening to "Everybody Hurts" as I type this. I have no particular desire to relive this, but I will because it's been specifically requested. Let's get this over with.

The show actually stared off pretty good. It wasn't until the last half of the Rumble itself that things went off the rails.

First of all, Antonio Cesaro retained the US Title over The Miz in a fairly decent match. Cesaro showed off some fun feats of strength type offense, but this never really managed to get going. Miz hurt himself halfway through and it felt like they rushed to the finish after that. But, you know, it was fine and the right guy won.

Okay, so then Alberto Del Rio retained the World Heavyweight Title in a Last Man Standing match. This was probably the best match of the night. This was a fun brawl all around the arena with several exclamation point moments including Big Show chokeslamming Del Rio off a piece of hanging set dressing through a table(!), Del Rio dusting off his old lucha spots that we haven't seen since he left Mexico to come to WWE(!), and Del Rio winning after Ricardo Rodriguez taped Big Show's feet to the bottom rope while he had Show in a cross armbreaker. It was a well-worked, fun match that really seemed to capture the crowd. Big thumbs up on this one. At this point in the show Kyle and I were going to town on a baked brie, drinking sparkling grape juice straight from the bottle, and all was right, and classy, with the world.

Next up was the Tag Title match, where Daniel Bryan & Kane retained over Rhodes Scholars (Cody Rhodes & Damien Sandow). The match was not great and was the first example of the wrong guy winning. While the mismatched partners thing that Team Hell No has been doing has been fun, this seemed like the ideal time to have them drop the titles and break up (perhaps leading to a match at Wrestlemania). Meanwhile, Rhodes Scholars have been awesome and are perfectly capable of carrying the tag division. The whole thing just felt odd. Maybe it's because I've been reading too much Pynchon lately, but my paranoia was triggered here. The status quo seemed to be on the rise. Daniel Bryan continues to be relegated to being a comedy act. Granted, he's good at it and I've enjoyed it. But at a certain point it feels like his prime is slipping away and I selfishly want him to be in Ring of Honor or New Japan instead.

Somehow the Rumble match was next. And, well, okay. I will try to gather my thoughts.

-Dolph Ziggler enters first. Ziggler is awesome. I want him to win. I know that he will not but I hope anyway. Ziggler has spent the past few weeks as John Cena's whipping boy and made to look extremely weak in the process. It's another dizzying development as Ziggler has all the makings of a top star and yet he is not of the coveted STATUS QUO.
-Second entrant is CHRIS JERICHO and that is just god damn cool. Jericho was last seen losing to Ziggler with his contract on the line. This is a total surprise and the type of thing that makes the Royal Rumble so special.
-Cody Rhodes, Kofi Kingston, Santino, Drew McIntyre, and Titus O'Neil come out and we're in standard Rumble fare. Some comedy bits, some eliminations, some house cleaning. It's all solid fun. And then...
-GOLDUST!!!! The original Goldy makes his way down to the ring. The best part? Cody Rhodes looking apoplectic...for Goldust is his no-kidding real-life brother (half-brother, but still). The two then spend the next ten minutes or so just whaling on each other and I literally did not want it to end. In fact, I want Rhodes Scholars vs. the old Goldust/Booker T tag team to happen on Smackdown this week. To me, this was the best part and everything that the Rumble is about...an old guy returns, a meaningful interaction out of nowhere, funny, intense, and something that wouldn't happen on any other night of the year.
-A bunch more guys come out, including a returning Rey Mysterio. Things are going well. Sheamus, known as The Great White, seems hell bent on eliminating all the black people in the match. Take whatever subtext you want from that.
-Lord Tensai (aka Albert for you early 2000's fans and Giant Bernard for you mid 2000's New Japan fans) gets eliminated. Then it appears as if Kofi Kingston will be eliminated as well, but he instead jumps on Tensai's back and his feet never touch the floor. He then uses an officer chair from one of the announcers to pogo his way back to the ring. And yes, there is a gif of this (http://cdn0.sbnation.com/uploads/chorus_image/image/7216845/wwepogo.0_standard_709.0.gif)
-The Godfather makes his return, complete with robe, bling, and ho train. He gets in the ring and is eliminated immediately by a Dolph Ziggler dropkick. He then struts right back up the aisle. It is one hell of a two second cameo.
-John Cena comes to the ring and my stomach sinks. I am now actively trying to hold down my baked mac & cheese.
-A bunch of stuff happens. Gradually the people that I want to win are being eliminated.
-Daniel Bryan and Kane tease yet another breakup. Boy that sure would have been great if they'd lost the tag titles earlier in the night. Instead the status quo is once again the order of the day. It's a cute little moment between the two (Bryan knocked Kane out of the ring, Bryan then gets thrown into Kane's arms, Kane teases putting him back in the ring only to dump him on the floor instead) but it is perhaps the last moment of happiness that I have on this night.
-Wade Barrett and the debuting Bo Dallas (who is in the bottom half of the current crop of prospects, in my eyes) get into a tussle and it appears that Bo Dallas will immediately be thrown into an Intercontinental Title feud while far superior talent (including Dallas's brother) await their call-ups. Status Quo. This is getting to be some Empire Strikes Back shit here.
-Randy Orton RKO's everyone and suddenly I realize that Orton is the only guy left not named Dolph Ziggler who I would want to win this thing. My gulp is loud enough to be heard on Staten Island.
-Final Four of Cena, Ryback, Sheamus, and Dolph Zig...oh nevermind, there goes Dolph.
- I blacked out for the rest of this. When I came to, Cena was standing victorious and I come to the realization that I've dropped a lot of money on seeing John Cena wrestle in the main event of Wrestlemania. His face smiles back at me. His dead, company man eyes have traveled thousands of miles through lenses, wires, and satellites to say that Yes, Mike Coast, the joke is on you.

Finally, we come to the Main Event of the evening. The Rock, taking some time off from life in Hollywood, returns to face CM Punk, hero of the educated proletariat. Punk has been the champion for 14 months, the sixth longest reign in the history of the WWE Title and the longest in about 25 years. The match itself was sloppy and disjointed. It had a few good moments, but certainly didn't live up to the lofty expectations assigned to it. The Rock, quite frankly, looked like a guy who had wrestled 5-6 times in the past ten years. Punk may be one of the best in the world, but he's always been the type who needed a dance partner rather than someone in the Ric Flair or Bret Hart vein who could carry anyone to a great match. Things went along and they wrestled their match and the Spanish Announce Table collapsed underneath them and it looked very possible that one or both of them could have blown out their knees thanks to this unhappy accident. Rock finally gets the advantage and is about to hit the People's Elbow when the lights go out.

Now, Punk had been saved numerous times by a mysterious group known as The Shield. One of the stipulations of this match was that Punk would be stripped of the title if the Shield interfered. Well kids, the Shield interfered under the cover of darkness. We know because the announcers told us so. The lights come back on, Punk covers Rock and the champ thankfully retains.

Enter Vince McMahon. Vince says, "No way. You ain't the one that's winning this one, kid. For I know the audience and the audience don't want to see some skinny nerd with tattoos and an appeal to an undesired demographic. Oh no, the audience, the WWE UNIVERSE, wants to see Cena vs. Rock again and again ad infinitum, so get back in that ring and lay down like a good little guy." He actually said he wanted to strip Punk of the title due to interference but The Rock persuades him to restart the match instead. But that was the meaning behind the words, man.

So the match restarts, Punk dominates, Rock hits one spinebuster and one People's Elbow and IF YOU SMELLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL, WHAT THE ROCK...IS COOKING.

Ironically enough, the last time I got this upset over the end of a fake-fighting contest it was when Rock lost to Austin at Wrestlemania 17 in 2001. Once again, Vince McMahon was heavily involved in the finish. Back then, it was as an on-screen bad guy. This time it was as a nominal good guy. It's not just the fact that Punk's reign was ended by a part-timer rather than elevating someone new. It's not just that I've already dropped money on a Rock vs. Cena rematch that I have no desire to see (and worse, a nearly guaranteed Cena win). And it's not just that Punk's reign ended with a whimper. It's that WWE really had something with Punk. It would have involved going off in a new direction and taking a risk. He is the vanguard of the new breed of wrestlers that has emerged in WWE in the last 2-3 years. But instead of embracing what made him different, they've decided to cut him out of the Wrestlemania picture because he will never be what they want. Rather than make new stars, the company relies of the faded glory of the past. Rather than putting their signature feud (Punk vs. Cena) on the biggest stage in front of a crowd that will be rabid for it, they'll instead give us a card that lacks any long term meaning. And they've already got my money to see it.

All hail the Status Quo.

Sorry for any typos. I'm too despondent and tired to read this over again. Time to blast "I Shall Be Released" and fall asleep.

2013 Royal Rumble Preview

Original Title: Royal Rumble Preview
Original Date Sent: January 24, 2013
Sent to: The people who I know who at one point liked wrestling.
Context: It's the Royal Rumble. Come on.


This Sunday is WWE's second biggest PPV of the year and usually the most fun. The Royal Rumble match is always great and even in a down year it provides the audience with dozens of moments of sheer joy. This year there is also a HUGE WWE Title match between long-reigning champion CM Punk and international movie star The Rock. Three other matches are scheduled and I would expect one or two more to end up on the show.

United States Championship Match
Antonio Cesaro (c) vs. The Miz
This match will be on the pre-show. Cesaro has been one of the best things going in WWE for months now. Lately he has been doing a great twist on the foreign-heel shtick, coming out to the ring waving an American flag while berating Americans about how they don't appreciate their country on the mic. Meanwhile, The Miz, a smarmy, unfunny, former Reality TV star, is supposed to be the good guy here. They've been feuding mostly on WWE's C-Show "Main Event" (which also happens to be the best hour of television they put on every week) where Miz is the color commentator. Cesaro claims that no American can beat him for the title. Miz hopes to change that. I'm hoping that the Swiss strongman can retain and then win the Royal Rumble and then win all the titles at Wrestlemania.

Tag Team Championship Match 
Team Hell No (Daniel Bryan & Kane) (c) vs. Rhodes Scholars (Damien Sandow & Cody Rhodes) 
These are two of the better acts in the company and this is their long-overdue PPV showdown. Last month they couldn't do it thanks to Hell No getting promoted to the Main Event to face The Shield in a wild, out of control Tables, Ladders, and Chairs match (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=K3vDkHEOjo8). The month before that Cody Rhodes was out of action with a shoulder injury after taking a horrendous bump directly on his shoulder (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DJEYAF4GvEg). At this point it seems like the mismatched tag partners storyline between Kane & Daniel Bryan is coming to an end as they had an anger management graduation ceremony this past week on Raw. I suspect that they will lose the titles here and then break up during the Royal Rumble match later in the night. Rhodes Scholars, the tandem of facial hair-sporting intellectuals, deserve a run with the tag belts heading into Wrestlemania season.

World Heavyweight Championship 
Last Man Standing Match 
Alberto Del Rio (c) vs. The Big Show 
Del Rio won the title in a shocking upset on Smackdown a few weeks back in another Last Man Standing match (http://www.wwe.com/videos/alberto-del-rio-vs-big-show-last-man-standing-world-heavyweight-title-match-smac-26083446). It was a great moment for the recently turned Del Rio and his loyal manager/personal ring announcer/best friend Ricardo Rodriguez. Up to this point, Del Rio has spent his time in WWE as an arrogant Mexican aristocrat and has mostly been pretty lame and boring. But somehow when he became an awesome Mexican aristocrat who the crowd loves, everything came together. He's better in the ring, better on the mic, and his entrance now gets a monster reaction. Meanwhile, Big Show continues to be inexplicably good for a guy his size and age. He's now helped revitalize both Del Rio and Sheamus after both had lackluster runs throughout much of 2012. I expect Del Rio to hang on, but it wouldn't surprise me to see him lose it either to Big Show or to Dolph Ziggler, who still holds the Money in the Bank briefcase. 

The Royal Rumble Match 
Announced Participants: John Cena, Sheamus, Ryback, The Miz, Randy Orton, Dolph Ziggler, Antonio Cesaro, Wade Barrett, 3 Man Band (Heath Slater & Drew McIntyre & Jinder Mahal)
Here it is, the greatest gimmick match ever created. 30 wrestlers, one ring, one hour. Two men begin and then every two minutes (maybe 90 seconds now, can't remember how they're doing it this year) another enters. Eliminations occur when a participant is thrown over the top rope to the floor. Brilliance ensues. Even last year's relatively weak Rumble match was still a lot of fun. This year has a little bit more star power and some legitimate mystery as to who will win. The conventional wisdom is that it will be either Cena or Ryback, but it's not outside the realm of possibility that someone unexpected (like Sheamus last year) could get a star-making win. One of those possibilities is Dolph Ziggler, who "won" a Beat the Clock challenge on Raw and gets his choice of the first or second slot. Ziggler is certainly capable of make the end to end run and I expect him to be in the Final Four at the least. There are also usually some fun surprises by guys returning from injury (Rey Mysterio? Mark Henry?) or retirement (Mick Foley and Road Dogg last year). This isn't something to over-think. It's the most fun match of the year so let's just sit back and enjoy it.

WWE Championship Match 
CM Punk (c) vs. The Rock
This match has been built up since Raw's 1000th episode this past summer. The Rock announced that he would be returning for a title match at Royal Rumble. He later came out to save John Cena from an assault by The Big Show, only to be attacked by Punk (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=a9CfwGQ3y-o). Punk has been the champion for well over a year and the thought is that his reign is about to come to an end in order for The Rock to be the top dog throughout the road to Wrestlemania. But we've thought Punk's run was coming to an end before and it seems that he still has quite a bit of momentum right now. This should be a really fun match. Punk is at his peak right now and Rock still gets huge reactions for just about everything he does. There will surely be extracurricular shenanigans as Punk's last few title defenses have involved help from The Shield (Punk will lose the title if they interfere here) and Brad Maddox (an evil referee turned wrestler whose color commentary during this match is without a doubt the funniest thing WWE has done in years: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=C9vCm5PiH2U). Punk's manager, Paul Heyman, has been involved with Brock Lesnar in the past. Could we see his return after a six month absence? The only certain thing is that the crowd will be LOUD for this one.

Kenta Kobashi Retrospective

Original Title: Kenta Kobashi Retrospective
Original Date Sent: December 11, 2012
Sent to: This one just went out a couple people sort of on the spur of the moment.
Context: When I heard Kobashi was retiring I went back and watched a bunch of his stuff and couldn't help but want to write about it in some way.


It was recently announced that Kenta Kobashi, one of the greatest wrestlers in the history of Japan, would be retiring after 25 years of dominating All Japan and NOAH. His knees are almost completely destroyed and it seems that he's walking away while he still can. There is also no doubt that Misawa's death in the ring in 2009 has made retirement an easier decision for many of the wrestlers of his generation (including Kawada). Kobashi leaves behind a legacy of matches that is rivaled by only a select few. Below are ten of those matches. This list could easily be twenty or thirty or fifty matches long.

I set a couple guidelines while choosing. First, I avoided repeat matchups. This email could have easily just been the ten best Kobashi vs. Misawa encounters. I've also tried to pick stuff that approximately maps the trajectory of his career. Again, this could have very easily just been his ten best matches from 97-99 when he first came to dominate All Japan or from his two year run with the GHC. This is only a starting point and not necessarily just a straight list of the ten best (or even most important) matches of Kobashi's career.

4/20/91
Kenta Kobashi & Mitsuharu Misawa & Toshiaki Kawada vs. Jumbo Tsuruta & Akira Taue & Masanobu Fuchi
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZvPAipN7uRc
This match serves as a sort of microcosm for the state of All Japan in the early 90's. The King's Road era was in full swing. The torch had been passed from Jumbo to Misawa the year before and the two are treated more or less as equals here. Jumbo's form quickly deteriorated and his untimely death followed soon after. Across the ring were the three men who would carry the company for the next decade: Misawa, Kawada, and Kobashi. And the Kobashi of this match is drastically different than the way that Kobashi is viewed now. Here he is young and spry and even a little skinny. He flies around the ring (or at least as much as one can fly within the context of this era in this company) using a wide array of dropkicks and top rope maneuvers. Even if he's the 4th or 5th most important guy in the match, Kobashi still manages to stand out (and not even in the "I know what he'll eventually become" way). What should also be noted about this match is how insane the crowd is. Japanese crowds have been stereotyped as being quiet and reserved and only getting loud for big moments. Well, this crowd was loud the entire time, popping for every big move and chanting for every single guy involved at different points. And finally, this is worth it for Fuchi alone. Fuchi is the king of dick moves and trolling his opponents and this may be the greatest ever example of that.

5/25/92 
Kenta Kobashi & Tsoyushi Kikuchi vs. The Can-Am Express (Doug Furnas & Dan Kroffat)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=24YHbhxWhMk
More junior-heavyweight Kobashi. Here he takes on a North American duo in the type of fast-paced tag contest that was commonplace in All Japan at that point but would soon disappear as the focus of the company shifted. This also serves as one of the first points when Kobashi began to be appreciated for himself rather than as the junior partner in the Misawa-Kawada-Kobashi young lion trifecta. Kobashi quickly became a favorite of tape-traders and writers in the States and it's easy to see why. Kobashi flashes a skill set here that made Puro fans salivate: he was already beginning to bulk up, he moved naturally around the ring, he made his opponents look good, he was charismatic, he hit hard, and he had a unique move set. It's always tempting to try to pinpoint a moment that "made" a particular wrestler (or athlete or actor, for that matter) and it usually results in over-simplifying their career arc. For example, Kobashi showed the same sort of potential in the previous match. But this really is the one that brought him worldwide fame and changed his status from "future star" to "star." 

7/29/93
Kenta Kobashi vs. Stan Hansen
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gV4hKPlK7fQ
One of the most famous finishes in Japanese wrestling history. The signature spot is an absolute killer and every time I see it I can't help but hurt for poor Kobashi. The match is so much more than that spot though. Hansen was All Japan's resident badass for years and could always be counted on to maul his opponent and take whatever he was given in return. He stood toe to toe with the likes of Andre the Giant, Terry Funk, and Jumbo Tsuruta. A 26 year old Kobashi should never have had a chance. But it's here that Kobashi shows that not only is he a fiery young lad who does moonsaults and dropkicks but a human fucking tank as well. It's a baptism by fire that showed that Kobashi could endure and thrive within the hardships of the King's Road style.

6/9/95 
Kenta Kobashi & Mitsuharu Misawa vs. Toshiaki Kawada & Akira Taue
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ALyg-EhxbgI
This is the greatest match of all time. Not greatest Japanese match. Not greatest tag team match. Not greatest match of the 90's. Greatest match. Period. Full stop. Kobashi is a big part of the reason why. Granted, this match isn't really "about" him. This is Misawa and Kawada continuing their epic saga in a match that was truly years in the making. But all of the Four Corners of Heaven are involved and each plays their role to absolute perfection. Here Kobashi is in the transition period between young lion and ace. He is no longer a sidekick for Misawa but instead an almost equal partner. But Kobashi comes in with a knee injury and is therefore also the weak link in the match. The Holy Demon Army (by the way, what a great name) work Kobashi's leg mercilessly to the point where he can no longer stand and fight under his own power. This includes a moment when Taue nodawa's Misawa onto Kobashi's injured leg; the most perfect spot in a match full of them. Because he eventually has to go at it two on one, Misawa is left an easy target. Kobashi can do little more than throw his crying corpse (yeah, real tears) over Misawa to absorb Kawada's legendary kicks. It's a harrowing match that never lets up and tells a story in the ring that could fill a novel. 

1/20/97
Kenta Kobashi vs. Mitsuharu Misawa
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=A6uWsU4yzFQ
This is the moment, in my mind, when Kobashi became a true ace. He had won the Triple Crown shortly before and now defended it against All Japan's top dog, Misawa. The big difference here is in the demeanor of each competitor and how the crowd reacts to them. Kobashi is no longer the underdog. He is now expected to win the big matches, even against the likes of Misawa. The result isn't the point here, it's how they get there. Kobashi would never again be looked at as the inferior guy in the match. He had reached his peak and would stay there for over a decade. In addition to all that, this is a really special match. It's brutal and unforgiving while also forgoing some of the excesses that would later become associated with All Japan in the late 90's. 

6/12/98 
Kenta Kobashi vs. Toshiaki Kawada
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0w7JOe7OWMw
This was for Kawada's Triple Crown and again it's all about Kobashi's emergence as the ace of the company. Kobashi is an absolute monster here, bullying around Kawada and imposing his will on the champion. Kawada manages to stay alive through his kicks and veteran savvy. But there's a certain level of inevitability here. Every spinning chop, every lariat, every head drop brings Kobashi one move closer to victory. Late 90's All Japan has been retroactively criticized, and justifiably so, for going too far too often. Guys were kicking out of too many finishers, moves were being done solely for the reason that they looked good, and the story-telling within the match, the key to King's Road, was getting lost in the shuffle. But this match doesn't suffer from that. It still feels like a big match without jumping over a cliff and holds up better today than many of the other matches from around that time period.

4/25/04
Kenta Kobashi vs. Yoshihiro Takayama
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CvOkh6IrLcE
This was in the midst of Kobashi's two year run with the GHC. It also marks the first time since he was a young man that Kobashi is absolutely manhandled by his opposition. Takayama dominates the match. And he does so in much different fashion than the usual. Instead of trying to hit Kobashi harder or drop him on his head more times (though he does both), Takayama instead takes advantage of an injury that Kobashi suffers to his arm. Takayama then ruthlessly goes after it and suddenly this starts to feel way more like a New Japan IWGP title match than a normal NOAH main event. The arm work has the double effect of both putting Kobashi firmly on the defensive and weakening his strikes when he is able to hit them. But when Kobashi finally is able to make his comeback the crowd goes nuclear. You can see people literally jumping up and down at the end. It's arguably Kobashi's most modern match and certainly one of the most unique.

7/10/04 
Kenta Kobashi vs. Jun Akiyama
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6pJs1vevNAg
Akiyama was supposed to be the heir to the throne after Kobashi in All Japan. That never really worked out as Akiyama proved to be very good but not an all-time great. Even later on in NOAH he could never truly wrest the title of ace from Misawa and Kobashi. The closest he ever came, however, was here. Again, this was part of Kobashi's epic GHC reign. Akiyama was built up as a guy who was about to reach his full potential. This match is an absolute war and goes overboard in all the right ways. It's a little bit like how year after year there are big special effects extravaganza movies but something like Avatar comes around and still manages to blow them all out of the water. You can feel a decade of frustration in every move that Akiyama hits on Kobashi. But Kobashi isn't one to just move out of the way for the next best guy. It boils down to a pure battle of wills. Who will keep getting up and who will finally stay down?

5/11/05 
Kenta Kobashi & Go Shiozaki vs. Kensuke Sasaki & Katsuhiko Nakajima
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HGVXSU9QM14
The Kobashi vs. Kensuke singles match is arguably better, but I've always enjoyed this one more. It's just such a fun match with the big guys whaling on each other and the young lions doing everything they can to impress. Plus, I think Kobashi's Machine Gun Chops work better in the context of this match than in the title defense. Regardless, this is a blast. It may not contain the incredible drama of some of the previous matches, but it gets the crowd into an equal stir and puts a smile on the viewer's face. Kensuke is far better as an old man than he was as the young muscle-bound Power Warrior (with the notable exception of the incredible tag match with Hiroshi Hase against the Steiners). Since then Kensuke has become an internet darling and had several more fun matches with the elite heavyweights of the 90's, many of whom he missed out on while in the midcard of New Japan. It's also cool that Go has matured into one of the top heavyweights in Japan including two reigns as GHC Champion. And it's not like Nakajima is a slouch either. If any of these matches were a gateway drug for people who have never seen Japanese wrestling before, this is the one.

10/1/05 
Kenta Kobashi vs. Samoa Joe
http://www.dailymotion.com/video/xq4z5j_kenta-kobashi-vs-samoa-joe_sport#.UMeQN4M8008
Kobashi comes to America and takes on the ace of Ring of Honor. Going in, people didn't quite know what to expect or how the two would mesh. On paper it seemed like a good matchup. Joe's style was heavily influenced by Kobashi and he could certainly hold his own in the ring. But the history of Japanese talent coming stateside for guest appearances was checkered and usually resulted in fun exhibitions rather than epic encounters. Well, this was no exhibition. To the delight of the New York City crowd, Kobashi and Joe put on an absolute classic. It served as both a fitting culmination of Ring of Honor's rise to the top of the independent scene and a cementing of Kobashi as the American internet crowd's all-time favorite Japanese wrestler. Over the course of his career, Kobashi wrestled in six Wrestling Observer Matches of the Year and twenty-three "Five Star" Matches (as rated by Wrestling Observer's Dave Meltzer). This was the last of both.