NJPW Wrestle Kingdom 11 Review

One of these years New Japan Pro Wrestling's Wrestle Kingdom show will not carry the hype and anticipation that it has garnered these past few years. The company's annual trip to the Tokyo Dome has become a focal point for hardcore fans ever since the event became available for live streaming (which coincided with the company's renaissance).

There was speculation last year around this time that this renaissance may be coming to an end. Top stars Shinsuke Nakamura and AJ Styles were WWE bound (what ever happened to those guys?) and so was the top tag team in the company, Karl Anderson and Luke Gallows. Doom and gloom was in the air. But stalwarts Kazuchika Okada and Hiroshi Tanahashi, the latter of whom battled through injuries all year, continued to carry the load at the top of the card. Tetsuya Naito solidified himself as a top star. Kenny Omega stepped up out of nowhere to go from underwhelming Junior Heavyweight Champion to the top foreign star in the company and one of the marquee names of the non-WWE wrestling world.

Expectations are once again high. The card looks stacked. I've got my snacks all set to watch this one live. Let's see how it all shook out.

New Japan Rumble
This is sort of like New Japan's version of the Royal Rumble only in addition to over the top rope eliminations there are also pinfalls, submissions, and DQs. It's sort of like how you could change the Royal Rumble parameters for No Mercy on N64. Doing the English Language commentary for this so I know who everyone is when they appear.

First entrant is Michael Elgin, back from an orbital bone injury. Second out is "Mr. Ass" himself, Billy Gunn! Billy Gunn looks like a gigantic monster, even next to Elgin. What follows is a nice little 14-man rumble match that is mostly played for laughs. Highlights include Kuniaki Kobayashi renewing his 80's junior heavyweight rivalry with Jushin Liger, Scott Norton unleashing the first disgusting spot of the night by powerbombing Ryusuke Taguchi onto his head, and Elgin throwing Cheeseburger around like he weighs nothing at all (which makes sense given that Cheeseburger appears to weigh almost nothing at all). Elgin wins in his return from injury.

Tiger Mask W vs. Tiger the Dark
Supposedly this is Kota Ibushi vs. ACH. Ibushi could probably be one of the top stars in New Japan (or NXT for that matter) but instead he's following his dreams of being a total weirdo who wrestles when and where he feels like it. There's something admirable about that. Anyway, here he plays an animated character come to life wrestling another animated character come to life. Believe it or not, there is a rich tradition of this in Japanese wrestling.

Match itself was a little slow and a little sloppy, but they did enough cool stuff to get the crowd involved. Not a bad way to open the show but certainly not a match I'll be shouting for other wrestling fans to watch.

IWGP Junior Heavyweight Tag Team Titles
Young Bucks (Matt & Nick Jackson) (c) vs. Roppongi Vice (Rocky Romero & Trent Baretta)
The Young Bucks enter carrying four belts each (IWGP Junior Titles, ROH & PWG tag titles, and the "Super Kick Party" Titles) and talk trash to the Hardy Boys on their way down the ramp.

This match was flat out great. So much fun. So inventive. Featured four great wrestlers taking big risks. The Young Bucks are always excellent (special mention should go to the perfectly executed "threaten to leave the match, superkick their opponents on the ramp, run back into the ring, and tease a countout victory" spot) but their opponents deserve a ton of credit. Rocky Romero is one of the guys who built the junior tag division and set the tone for the style. His hot tag in this match was about as fun as they come. And Trent Baretta went all out. His flip dive over the top rope TO THE FLOOR AND NOTHING ELSE was one of the more insane things I've ever seen a human being willingly do for my entertainment.

RPG Vice get the upset and I am very happy to be awake at 3:40am.

NEVER Openweight Trios Titles Gauntlet Match
Satoshi Kojima & Ricochet & David Finlay (c) vs. CHAOS (Yoshi-Hashi & Will Ospreay & Jado) vs. Bullet Club (Bad Luck Fale & Yujiro Takahashi & Hangman Page) vs. Los Ingobernables de Japon (Seiya Sanada & EVIL & Bushi)
First combination sees the Bullet Club facing off with the CHAOS team. Will Ospreay is easily the highlight here. Ospreay doesn't so much fly around the ring as effortlessly float. Despite how entertaining Ospreay is, the Bullet Club team wins the first pairing.

LIJ out next. Short little section with LIJ dominating and getting the win.

So out come the champions. Ricochet's first two minutes in the match make me think, "What was the name of that British Guy from earlier? The one who did all the cool stuff I liked?" David Finlay looks like the "Never talk to me or my son ever again" version of Chris Hero. Kojima is there to throw some chops, do the thing where he swears in unison with the crowd in Japanese, and eat the pin. LIJ are the new champs. Decent midcard bout. I now want to see a Ricochet/Sanada singles match.

Cody the American Nightmare vs. Juice Robinson
Yes, this is the former Cody Rhodes making his New Japan debut. For those who don't know, Juice Robinson competed in NXT as CJ Parker and is perhaps best known for breaking Kevin Owens's nose with a palm strike in Owens's debut match. This match now arguably replaces that match as his most high profile spot.

This kinda felt like a Smackdown match. So better than a Raw match but not quite a PPV match and certainly not a big NJPW show match. If you're curious about what a New Japan Cody Rhodes match looks like...this isn't really it.

Ring of Honor World Title
Kyle O'Reilly (c) vs. Adam Cole
I saw these guys have an incredible match live several years ago that left Adam Cole bleeding out of his mouth so much it looked like he was starring in the feature length remake of the cornfield scene in Casino. O'Reilly recently beat Cole for the ROH title. O'Reilly has been a New Japan regular for a few years now and Cole started with the company only in the past year or so. Both are rumored to be heading to WWE in the near future.

This is objectively better than the previous match but the crowd doesn't seem to be feeling it. That especially hurts in a big dome environment such as this. Cole wins the title back. Skip this and watch that other match between these two that I mentioned in the previous paragraph.

IWGP Tag Team Titles
Guerrillas of Destiny (Tama Tonga & Tanga Roa) (c) vs. G.B.H. (Togi Makabe & Tomoaki Honma) vs. CHAOS (Tomohiro Ishii & Toru Yano)
There was a lot going on in his match. Constant action punctuated by Yano's signature comedy spots. I know that not all NJPW fans agree with me on this but I love Yano. I want to hang out with Yano in real life. I want to play trash can wars and eat things wrapped in pizza with him. So I was glad to see he and Ishii win.

Pretty good match. Never lagged and the crowd is officially back on-board with this show.

IWGP Junior Heavyweight Title
Kushida (c) vs. Hiromu Takahashi
Takahashi spent a couple highly regarded years on excursion in Mexico wrestling as Kamaitachi. He now returns to Japan to take on the ace of the junior heavyweight divsion, Kushida. Kushida has set the goal for himself to be a Liger-style ace in that he can have a great match with anyone in any style. He's had great, but very different, matches with Kyle O'Reilly and Ricochet in the recent past that speak to this.

Well Takahashi is a different style altogether. The great thing about him is that everything he does feels like it's reckless and out of control - a welcome change from the rehearsed feel of other high-flyers. It's one of the reasons that his feud with Dragon Lee stood out so much in the world of Lucha Libre. However, that can also backfire as he'll occasionally just blow a spot outright (as he does here when going for a top rope rana or his sunset flip powerbomb to the outside gone awry). It's up to Kushida to rein him in. He's mostly successful. This starts out fast and continues to build in intensity. Takahashi does crazy stuff and Kushida tries to fit it into the "Kushida match" template with a few twists along the way.

By the time Takahashi pinned Kushida I was hoping that these two would feud all year. This is a great match that left me feeling like these two may have even better matches in the future.

NEVER Openweight Title
Katsuyori Shibata (c) vs. Hirooki Goto
Goto is the biggest choke artist in wrestling. He's the Scott Norwood of wrestling. The Greg Norman of wrestling. The Nick Anderson of wrestling. The Tony Romo of wrestling. Every big Goto match is him doing an impression of John Starks in Game 7 of the 1994 NBA Finals. Shibata is his best friend from high school who enjoys nothing better than kicking Goto's loser ass into dust.

The match got off to a relatively slow start but good lord do they amp it up once Shibata starts teasing Goto by tapping him in the face with Kawada kicks. This becomes so violent that even Alex and his droogs would wince. The finish sees Goto destroy Shibata with about a dozen headbutts followed by two rounds of finishers.

This is one goddamn hell of a match. Check it out if you like violence or are fascinated by violence or if Hacksaw Ridge wasn't violent enough for you.

IWGP Intercontinental Title
Tetsuya Naito (c) vs. Hiroshi Tanahashi
All you really need to know about this match is that Naito used to be a low rent Tanahashi and now he is in his rebelious teen phase which has made him much more popular with pretty much everyone but Tanahashi.

Tanahashi wrestles the first section of this match like Bret Hart in 1997 - old, out of touch, inadvertantly the heel because this modern world has passed him by. It's the right way to go given how popular Naito has been in his current role. However, the first section of the match doesn't feel right. These two actually don't seem to have all that much natural chemistry.

But chemistry be damned. This is a pair of the best main eventers in the world and they are going to will themselves to a great match. Naito bumps like a maniac. Tanahashi pretends that he has about half the mileage on his body that he actually does. By the time they start trading finishers the crowd is at a fever pitch. Just as a dead crowd in a dome can sink a match, a passionate crowd can push a match to the next level.

Naito ends up winning after a breathless, outstanding finishing stretch. Stick with this match. It's well worth waiting for it to heat up.

IWGP Heavyweight Title
Kasuchika Okada (c) vs. Kenny Omega
Omega won the G1 in order to earn this shot. He has been doing interviews all over the world saying how he's the guy who can take New Japan global. That sounds great to me! However, Okada is my favorite wrestler and I want him to win every match ever. Last year Okada had perhaps the best match I've ever seen on the main event of this very show. Can he do the same this year?

In contrast to the earlier Tanahashi/Naito match, these two do have great chemistry together. There is a buzz in the early going. Everything they do just clicks. The headlock spots. The teasing signature moves that don't quite work yet. The brawling on the outside.

The larger story of the match is that Kenny Omega is the arrogant challenger who has already won the match in his mind. There is no respect shown to the champion or his previous accomplishments. In the mind of Kenny Omega this is a coronation rather than a contest. It's actually somewhat similar to the dynmic of the early matches in the legendary Tanahashi/Okada feud.  The middle portion of the match works in this context. Omega is in disbelief that Okada would have the audacity to kick out of his mid-tier moves. This section is capped off by Omega hurtling himself to the outside with a giant moonsault onto Okada.

I didn't take notes on the final third of the match so much as scrawl down moves in between the drops of sweat that now stained my notebook. Kenny Omega gets sent ass over heels out of the ring through a table in a ballsy display that could have gone wrong in so many ways. Okada hits a top rope shotgun dropkick. Omega gives Okada a devastating top rope dragon suplex directling onto his head and neck. It's taking everything I have not to type this whole paragraph in ALL CAPS~! Okada hits a perfectly timed, perfectly executed dropkick and I'm punching the air around me. Both guys are throwing bombs. Knee strikes and Rainmakers and tombstones all over the place. FINALLY Okada manages to get the win.

That is the most emotionally draining experience I've ever had watching a wrestling match. Go out of your way to see this. It's as great a match as you'll ever see. We'll be talking about this one for a long, long time.

Thanks for reading everyone. Gonna go try, and fail, to sleep.

NJPW Wrestle Kingdom 10 Review

Original Title: NJPW Wrestle Kingdom 10 Review
Original Date Sent: January 6th, 2016
Sent to: My friends who pay attention, at least tangentially, the Japanese wrestling
Context: This is my favorite yearly email so I couldn't resist doing it again despite poor health and little free time.

I've watched this show live the past several years. First on PPV and then, last year, via the magic of New Japan's streaming service. 2016, however, did not see fit to have January 4th fall on a weekend. I was also sick. Very sick. Aches and chills and nausea and light-headedness and unspeakable malfunctions of the bowels. All this, with a full day at the office ahead, meant that there was no red eye viewing party for me this year. No cache of Doritos and Mountain Dew and leftover Christmas candy. It meant a day of militant spoiler avoidance (compounded by the dual stresses of a long work day and ill-health) until, finally, I could stream the show.

New Japan Rumble

I can't believe I took notes on this match. To say it was bad misses the point of it, I suppose. It's not really for me (or anyone watching at home). It's there to make the crowd laugh and/or feel a tinge of nostalgia as they take their seats. But I have several questions. Why not have someone semi-important win this so that they can challenge for a title next month (like they did with Nagata last year)? Was Jado winning a reward for his exile to NOAH over the past year? Why not throw in the Young Lions to have a go? How lovable a dude is Cheeseburger if he got to make the trip for this? Where the hell was my main man Jay White? Couldn't this have been as fun as last year? Skip this unless you're a diehard Haku fan.

IWGP Junior Heavyweight Tag Team Titles

ReDragon (c) vs. The Young Bucks vs. Roppongi Vice vs. Ricochet & Matt Sydal

Anyone who has watched New Japan in the past four years could basically guess what this match was. The names change (hope to see you again down the road, Time Splitters and Forever Hooligans) but the spotfests remain more or less the same. And damn it, that's not always a bad thing. They mix it up to the point where it never becomes boring - whether that means adding new talent (Ricochet & Sydal this year), new spots, or just new ways for the Young Bucks to throw superkicks. Every year I go back to campus for Reunion Weekend (I promise I'm not the only perennial) and we play a game called Trash Can Wars. It involves, you guessed it, throwing metal trash cans at each other. And damn it, I want to play it every year. We throw in new rules and variations and an ever increasing number of projectiles to keep things fresh. It's always one of the highlights of the weekend (unless you enjoy sleep) and I never want it to go away. Much like the ridiculously consistent New Japan Junior Tag division. Ricochet was the MVP of this year's match while simultaneously making me think, "I'm really glad Cody Hall was so involved in this." This was a ton of fun - even more so than in years past. Bucks win the titles back with More Bang for Your Buck.

NEVER Openweight Six Man Tag Team Titles

Bullet Club (Bad Luck Fale & Tama Tonga & Yujiro Takahashi) vs. Toru Yano & The Briscoes

I have soured on The Briscoes in the past few years as I feel like I've seen every bad match they've ever had live in the building. Maybe they just hate New York City or something. This was okay. I'm pretty sure there aren't six people in the world who think adding these belts is a good idea but I suppose we'll see. Mark Briscoe seemed to realize that he was wrestling at the Tokyo Dome (and not in New York City). This, along with YTR's antics, made the match passable. But it's not something I'd say is worth going out of your way to see (or if you have three hours allotted to watch this show rather than four). Yano and the Briscoes pick up the win which means we'll either be seeing the Briscoes again or Yano's third of the championship becomes a very expensive comedy prop.

ROH World Championship

Michael Elgin vs. Jay Lethal (c)

Oh good, it seems that Truth Martini was brought on this trip for some reason. I hope he and Cheeseburger had to share a seat or he stowed away in Lethal's luggage or something. The crowd has grown to love Big Mike's feats of strength. The super-strong gaijin incarnation of Elgin works way better than his previous life as a North American hoss who does indie moves. Like the last match, this was a fine piece of skippable undercard wrestling. Lethal wins via a Book of Truth shot followed by a Lethal Injection.

IWGP Junior Heavyweight Title

Kenny Omega (c) vs. KUSHIDA

KUSHIDA embraces his Back to the Future love once again this year as he is accompanied to the ring by a dude (Taguchi maybe?) in a Doc Brown costume. Not quite as good as his DeLorean entrance from a few years ago but few things are. After a rough start to his New Japan tenure Omega has really rounded into form as of late. His heel character is no longer just a ball of tics and tweaks. He's now got a lot more confidence in himself and his gimmick (as "The Cleaner" of the Bullet Club he also now takes the job literally, using cleaning spray and metal trash cans (HEY! THAT'S MY THING!) during the match).

As goofy as that first paragraph sounds, this match was really good and possibly the smartest match on the card. KUSHIDA worked the arm to sent up for the Hoverboard Lock and Omega countered by throwing as many bombs as he could in an attempt to knock out KUSHIDA before his left arm fell off his body.This all culminated in Omega hitting a gorgeous one arm powerbomb that I would have totally bought as a finish. Match ended with Kushida winning via rollup when Omega couldn't keep him up on his shoulders for the One-Winged Angel. KUSHIDA cements his place as ace of the Juniors division while Omega stays relatively strong in defeat (evidently to take over as the leader of the Bullet Club from the departing AJ Styles).

IWGP Heavyweight Tag Team Titles

The Bullet Club (Karl Anderson & Doc Gallows) (c) vs. GBH (Tomoaki Honma & Togi Makabe)

The crowd absolutely adores Honma, the lovable loser who is finally putting together something resembling a win streak. This was all about Honma finally winning a title match in New Japan (though what can match his two reigns as Big Japan Death Match Champion?) after nearly nine years of trying. Keep in mind, this is a company that has so many belts that they sometimes need two big shows a month to defend them all. This match was at its best when it was Honma vs. Anderson. Anderson had a nice run in NJPW and it'll be interesting to see where his career goes in NXT/WWE. No matter what, we'll always have that fantastic Anderson/Tanahashi match from early 2013.

Honma & Makabe win after a Kokeshi from the top rope followed by a King Kong Knee Drop. Not as good as the Tag League finals last month.

Tetsuya Naito vs. Hirooki Goto

Somehow, this match is not for a title. Naito's entrance has lasers and stuff. And Goto, as usual, is just no fun at all on his way to the ring. For his crime of blandness Goto is punished by being jumped by all of Los Ignobernables (at least the members who happened to be in Japan at the time). EVIL whacks Goto with a, well, evil chairshot directly in the face. Naito gives Goto a neckbreaker through a table and then poses in the ring. Heel Naito rules. Just have Nakamura will the IC title to him until he comes back from America in 2-3 years. Wait a minute. Goto wins this match despite rampant interference?? Damn it. Nevermind. Match was pretty good at least.

NEVER Openweight Title

Katsuyori Shibata vs. Tomohiro Ishii (c)

I had mixed feelings about this match. It felt a little long to me though each individual piece was a lot of fun (and the finishing stretch is harrowing to watch, let alone participate in). I was all ready to launch into a comparison of their senseless tests of manhood to similar ones I experienced in my fraternity days. But then I realized something: this match was structured like the Western Front of World War One. Starts out aggressive (Schlieffen Plan and the Miracle of the Marne). Settles into a rhythm of two sides testing each other's mettle (trench warfare). Seems like it is at a stalemate. Culminates in offensives from both sides that leave grown men shattered as they ponder the very fabric of their endeavor (the massive offensives in the latter stages of the war, especially the Spring Offensive of 1918). 

The head butts and subsequent jaw-rattling strikes at the end of the match simultaneously make one question if it's okay to continue watching matches like this and ask when they'll face off again. It's not the best of their matches, but it's certainly memorable. Shibata wins with the punt kick - but that's really beside the point, isn't it?

IWGP Intercontinental Title

Shinsuke Nakamura (c) vs. AJ Styles

AJ's stellar run in New Japan comes to an end in this first time ever matchup against the-also-WWE-bound King of Strong Style. I'm not going to turn this into an elegy since I didn't know any of that information before watching the match itself. So let's save that for when I watch the match five years down the line. Besides, it's not like this is the 2016 equivalent to the end of Wrestlemania XX or something. It's a dream match that now has more meaning attached to it. Let's not get all weepy until we're sure that both guys get wasted in WWE and NJPW goes under.

The extended feeling out process to begin the match makes sense given that this is the first time the two have faced off. It wouldn't feel right to have them immediately going into countering each other's finishers like you sometimes see in matches like this. AJ makes sure to work heel just in case the crowd doesn't get behind the most charismatic man in wrestling (and it's a credit to AJ's talent that it's even a question during this match). This isn't really a match you take notes during (and it's not like the rest of this thing has been a play-by-play either). Nakamura kicks out of a Styles Clash to the biggest pop of the night so far. The finish comes when Nakamura MURDERS AJ with a Boma-Ye to the back of the head followed by AJ taking the bump of his life on the clinching Boma-Ye. That match ruled.

IWGP Heavyweight Title

Hiroshi Tanahashi vs. Kazuchika Okada (c)

This rivalry goes back a full four years now. Following Tanahashi's successful title defense against Minoru Suzuki in 2012 he was challenged by young upstart Okada. Okada won the title in a shock upset the following month. A new star was born. Their second match, one of the best of 2012 and yet not even one of the three best of their subsequent series, saw Tanahashi regain the title. Match three came at the Tokyo Dome in 2013. Once again Tanahashi won, reaffirming his status as ace of the company. Okada won the next two title matches (both classics) and they wrestled to a draw during the 2013 G1. However, Okada's title defense at the 2014 Dome show took a back seat to Tanahashi's match - which fans voted into the main event slot (maybe the biggest slap in the face of Okada's career). Last year, Tanahashi reasserted his dominance by beating Okada. Okada left in tears.

And now this. Okada is my favorite wrestler. He's the only guy whom I genuinely care about when it comes to wins and losses. The Tokyo Dome, in recent years, has been my favorite show of the year. And it seems like many years I end the show with conflicting emotions. It's always a great show...and my favorite wrestler usually loses in the main event. A lot of people went into this match thinking that it would be Okada's year. Well, we all thought that last year too...

The crowd is split as the bell rings to start the match. They're also really loud despite the length of the show and the electricity present in the previous two matches. Okada controls the early going and comes off as supremely cocky. Which, as a fan and as someone who follows the backstage stories of all this stuff, makes me nervous. 

These two have unparalleled chemistry. They call back to old spots while also mixing in completely new ones that show, in the suspension of disbelief sense, how well these two have prepared for each other. They also know how to swing a match in a different direction in a sensible, believable, and still dramatic way. Here it is Tanahashi going after Okada's leg with a vicious streak. Tanahashi is gaining control and I'm now having troubling breathing (either because of the match or the flu). This goes double for when Tanahashi kicks out of a Rainmaker and then also kicks out of Okada hitting a High Fly Flow. Tanahashi later hits Okada with a Rainmaker and multiple High Fly Flows.

This leads us to a point similar to where the match finished last year. This time Okada kicks out. He dropkicks Tanahashi out of the air on the third High Fly Flow attempt. Okada attempts another Rainmaker but Tanahashi counters. This time, despite being stunned, Okada holds onto Tanahashi's arm. It's not a "last gasp" grasp, it's a "this year I will not let you play your little air guitar solo as I limp away crying" grasp. It's the type of image that would be played to death for decades to come if this was WWE. Okada regains his feet and hits three Rainmakers in a row to definitively defeat his rival and take his rightful place as ace of the company.

Just an epic finishing stretch. I may need a couple weeks to think about it and put it in proper perspective. But as of this writing this is my favorite wrestling match of all time.

Analyzing Napoleon's Portrayal in Bill & Ted's Excellent Adventure

Original Title: Napoleon Complexity
Original Date Sent: September 20, 2015
Sent to: The participants in the annual summer history chain. This year's topic, of course, is Napoleon.
Context: This email came after several hundred messages sent by dozens of people - most of which were actually fairly serious.

Since the beginning of this chain I've wanted to do an analysis of Napoleon's portrayal in the landmark film Bill & Ted's Excellent Adventure. This weekend, I finally had the time and inclination to do so. The film gets many things right but, perhaps not surprisingly, oversimplifies Napoleon's character. Rather than finding a man at a defined point in his life, we are treated to a caricature of Napoleon's (mostly negative) stereotypes.

I made sure to time stamp things along the way in case you want to follow along at home or throw in some additional commentary.

5:25 - Ted (Keanu Reeves) refers to Napoleon as a "short dead dude." As we've previously discussed Napoleon wasn't actually all that short (especially not for his time). Perhaps this is why his history teacher is so disgusted with Ted's answer. At least that's what I hope. I'd hate to think that the makers of the film hadn't done their proper historical due diligence.

18:15 - Bill (Alex Winter) and Ted are whisked back in time by Rufus (George Carlin). Rufus informs the boys that they are in "Austria, 1805. The French have just invaded." The weather appears to be warm so this is significantly before the Battle of Austerlitz in December. Not to mention the fact that the French had not "just invaded" at that point. It should also be noted, however, that a significant military action seems to be taking place. Therefore my best guess would be that this would likely be a part of the Ulm Campaign.

Other notes from this scene include Napoleon using aggressive tactics in ordering his men to fire at the mysterious telephone booth that appears behind his lines. Also, Napoleon getting blown into the air by a cannonball echoes an incident that occurred during Napoleon's second invasion of Austria in 1809 when he suffered a minor ankle injury due to cannon fire at the Battle of Ratisbon. 

27:30 - We get our first mention of "Waterloo" during Bill & Ted's trip to the American West. This prompts a physical assault from the cowboys in attendance. Remember that even though Bill & Ted are in the past, Waterloo would have already occurred. So perhaps the mention of this victory of conformity over the successors of the French Revolution struck a chord with these individualists who gravitated toward the frontier.

45:00 - Napoleon, put in Ted's brother Deacon's care, eats the "Zygie Piggy" at the ice cream parlor. We again see his aggressive side as he insists upon eating the last bite.

50:00 - Napoleon cheats on his bowling score sheet.* It is most clear here that Napoleon is being portrayed in this film as a ruthless, win-at-all-costs buffoon. Without starting an argument, I'd concede that one could portray Napoleon in this light toward the end of his career. But in 1805? This seems incredibly unfair given how his career had not yet peaked. He still had his greatest days in front of him. His worst days were still almost a decade away.

*Another member of the chain chimed in here with a salient point: "Cheating on his bowling card is actually very factually accurate. He was not a good loser and, at least according to the biography I read, people playing him in chess or cards would just let him cheat because what were they going to do about it? This was true throughout his life, even to St. Helena."

58:50 - Ted refers to Napoleon as "one of Europe's greatest leaders." Shortly thereafter Bill refers to Napoleon as "one of Europe's greatest generals." The difference between these two statements is not insignificant. It also reflects a debate we've been having on this chain for months now. Was Napoleon a great leader for his country as Ted suggests? Or was he simply an accomplished general whose political leadership led France down a dark path as Bill suggests?

Also notable in this scene is that both Bill and Ted conclude that the place to find Napoleon is a water park named "Waterloo." This suggests that Napoleon was always destined for Waterloo. It is his inescapable fate. Again, this reflects something that we had previously discussed on this chain. Could Napoleon have ever ruled France in peace? Or did his bellicose nature combined with the conspiring of his neighbors ensure that he would come to an inglorious end? Bill and Ted seem to infer that it is the latter course.

1:00:00 - One of the film's many montages shows Napoleon rampaging through the water park. Especially notable here is his risk-taking nature as he dives down the water slides headfirst each time (a practice I'm sure the lifeguards among us would not recommend).

1:17:50 - During his portion of the presentation Napoleon seems to be mapping out his strategy for the invasion of Russia in 1812. Like many an armchair historian, Ted comments that he doesn't think it's going to work. Curious to think what David G. Chandler would have thought of the "Water Slide" strategy portrayed in the film.

2015 NJPW G1 Tournament Review

Original Title: NJPW Sign Up for G1
Original Date Sent: July 19th  - August 16th, 2015
Sent to: Some fellow Japanese wrestling fans who were also following along with the tournament.
Context: The G1 is New Japan Pro Wrestling's annual summer tournament. This year all the shows aired live on the New Japan World service. I watched a whole bunch of stuff and reviewed it as I went. This is by no means a complete review, just a few matches from each day of the tournament (with a full go at the Finals). These started out as informal one-liners and got more complex as the tournament progressed. These are pretty spoiler free as they mostly served as match recommendations along the way.

Night 1 - Two big matches to check out here.

AJ/Shibata - Great dickhead heel vs striker match. Really smartly worked match with some excellent limb selling by Shibata. AJ is so over with this crowd. The turning point of this match is so painful looking. Trust me, you'll know it when you see it.

Tanahashi/Ibushi - Disjointed and spotty to start but really gets going in the second half. Some really cool spots here strung together in a way that I hadn't seen before. Really fun finish. Would be the best finishing stretch of the month if not for Okada/AJ at Dominion.

Night 2 - Feels pretty skippable. Two hard cams with no commentary. This one is really just for die hards.

Okada/Elgin - This was okay, I suppose. Pretty tepid. Okada pretty much mailed it in here as he's wont to do. Elgin does some nice power spots here and seemed to make a positive impression on the crowd. If you're curious about Elgin in Japan this is worth the ten minutes it takes to watch.

Karl Anderson/Nakamura - This was better but not must-see or anything. Crowd is more into it. Both guys seem to be having a little more fun. It's interesting how well Anderson can work the Japanese crowd in comparison to Elgin.

Night 3 - Much better camera setup. Still no commentary, but a much larger and more engaged crowd helps mitigate that. Pretty strong slate of tournament matches here.

Ibushi/Gallows - Probably the best match of Gallows's career. That's not saying much. Ibushi does a great job bumping for the big man and his comeback spots are a lot of fun.

Makabe/Fale - Not terrible. Not worth watching if you're pressed for time though.

AJ/Yano - This was actually a lot of fun. YTR's shtick can sometimes get tiresome but he's firing on all cylinders here. 

Shibata/Naito - Naito's new heel persona has been an interesting turn for him (as he was basically the poor man's Ibushi before that). However, it had been hurting the quality of his matches. This is the best thing he's done since his heel turn and it's mostly thanks to Shibata beating the crap out of him for the entirety of the match. Won't be one you're telling your grandkids about but it left me wanting to see these two have a rematch at a bigger show.

Tanahashi/Tenzan - Tanahashi plays the heel from the very beginning against the ever-popular (and very old) Tenzan. It's the sort of move that John Cena has adopted as of late. A fun, well-worked main event with a very hot crowd.

Night 4 - Back to the crappy camera set up and no commentary. Ugh. Skipped a couple matches because of this.

Goto/Anderson - By the numbers G1 match. Some big spots that I didn't expect here but nothing to write home about other than that.

Nagata/Nakamura - These two have such great chemistry. The crowd is really into everything they do. This especially gets hurt by the lack of camera work since both guys rely so much on facial expressions and technical matwork - neither of which are maximized by the hard cam. Kind of a weird finish too, but doesn't really hurt the match.

Okada/Honma - Going in, I was a little surprised that this was main eventing over Nagata/Nakamura. This is a really interesting match on an existential level since Honma pretty much was Okada back in 1999 - a blond haired ace leading the resurgence of a Japanese company. This match also illustrates a fundamental difference between Okada and Tanahashi. In the previous night's match, Tanahashi immediately jumped into being heel given that the crowd was likely to support Tenzan heavily. Okada plays things pretty straight until later in the match before realizing that it's for the best to have Honma be a true face. It'll be interesting to see if Okada is willing to embrace his heel side from time to time as he becomes more entrenched as one of the top stars in the company and faces more underdogs in situations like this. Match itself is fantastic. If you check out anything from this show, make it this one.

Night 5 - The Hiroshima show. Expect a hot crowd for this one. I skipped Fale/Gallows and Yano/Tenzan. The top three matches are all a lot of fun though.

Shibata/Makabe - Nice little slugfest here. Makabe's strikes are sometimes lacking but Shibata more than makes up for it. Good god, I would not want to step into the ring with that guy.

AJ/Ibushi - I actually liked this a little better than their much-praised title match from earlier this year. Ibushi's lack of selling bothers me but other than that this match is a lot of fun. Others thought this was a much better match than I did.

Tanahashi/Naito - Rematch of the 2013 G1 Final. Naito's "petulant hungover frat boy" gimmick is in full effect here. This is surprisingly stiff and features more spitting than a Chipper Jones at-bat. You can really feel the bad blood. Very good match. Definitely worth checking out.

Night 6 - This deathmarch continues! The unimaginable Nakamura/Elgin match slated for this show was cancelled thanks to Nakamura's elbow injury that may keep him out for the rest of the tournament, Yano & Tenzan busted themselves up in sickening fashion a couple nights before, and it looks like Ishii is injured as usual. No commentary for this one but a full camera team.

Honma/Goto - The type of fun matchup that makes the G1 so interesting. The match isn't great or anything. It's sort of like one of those matches that happens on Raw sometimes where you're like "that was really good...but I'm not sure why they were wrestling." As to be expected with these two it's brutally hard-hitting at times.

Anderson/Ishii - Kinda like the previous match in a lot of ways only they did a better job of building the drama and it had a better finish. Karl Anderson has cooled down significantly since it looked like he'd be the next great American gaijin in the wake of his 2012 G1 Final appearance and his stellar showing in an IWGP title match against Tanahashi in 2013. But he's proved during this tournament that he's still got it as a singles wrestler.

Kojima/Okada - Okada works heel here from the get-go which is a good sign for his future development as a top guy. It's also a nice throwback to the character that fans first fell in love with back in 2012. This match is psychologically sound but it feels like it's being wrestled in slow motion at times. Kojima just hasn't aged into the Grumpy Old Man stage that prolongs the effectiveness of other fading Puro stars.

Night 7 - Similar camera setup to the previous night. No commentary again. So far Block A has provided better matches than Block B. Let's see if that continues here.

Ibushi/Shibata - This match is FAN-FUCKING-TASTIC. Find it as soon as you possibly can. Ibushi's no-selling normally bothers me but Shibata finds the perfect way to counteract it: beat the motherfucking piss out of Ibushi for real. And to his credit, Ibushi proves that he can work that Shibata/Goto/Ishii/Honma style of slugfest that leaves you cringing every couple seconds. Remember that scene in the most recent Rambo where Stallone hijacks an anti-aircraft gun and turns it on a Burmese Deathsquad, liquefying hundreds of genocidal junta goons in a matter of moments? That's pretty much this match. Builds to a fever pitch finish. Easily the best thing since the two great matches on Night 1.

Tanahashi/Fale - This was not very good. Dead crowd, too much interference, not enough Fale getting bashed in the face (which is just about the only time he's useful).

AJ/Naito - Rematch from the Tokyo Dome. This time Naito is rocking his new persona and AJ has been rehabilitated as a top star in the promotion. Crowd doesn't really know what to do with the whole Heel vs Heel thing. Match is mostly fine though Naito purposely slows things down and AJ doesn't really help to speed it up. Worth a look if you like both guys.

Night 8 - I have got a lot of catching up to do! Full camera and commentary tonight. Block B finally seems to be getting into the top-end matches after a relatively weak start.

Elgin/Honma - This was a lot of fun. Honma is the perfect guy for Elgin to work with since he can take a beating, has a myriad of hope spots, and can handle most of the crowd work. Elgin has done well for himself this tournament. I don't think NJPW will be clamoring to give him a push but he certainly hasn't hurt his stock.

Nakamura/Ishii - Pretty good match that built to a nice finish. Best thing about this is that Nakamura appears to be healthy despite a taped up elbow.

Goto/Okada - Kinda by-the-numbers to start but builds into a really hot finish. Goto actually felt like a main eventer here. Definitely the best match of this particular show. Interestingly enough the Osaka crowd is HUGELY behind Goto here. This tournament has done a lot for Goto and if Nakamura's health fails again I wouldn't be surprised to see him win the block.

Night 9 - So far behind that I skipped all the way to the main event. The undercard looked really unspectacular to me with most of the matchups featuring one of the talented guys in the block taking on the one of the really untalented guys in the block. Though you could argue that this applies to the main event as well.

Tanahashi/Yano - This comedy feud has been going on for the better part of 2015. This was probably the most elaborate of the matches. A solid example of a Japanese comedy match. I think that YTR/AJ was better than this if you only feel like watching one comedy match though.

Night 10 - This gets me caught up! Phew! Wrestling is exhausting.

Ishii/Nagata - This just kinda faded into the wall of wrestling from these past few weeks until the AMAZING slap exchange near the end of the match. The last couple minutes are worth watching but this is pretty skippable.

Okada/Anderson - Rematch of the 2012 G1 Final here. Decent enough. Not great though. Okada is at his best in BIG matches and that's not really what this is. Also helps explain why he so often underwhelms in the G1 (minus the very good Final in 2012 and my Match of the Year last year in the Final).

Goto/Nakamura - I didn't think that this was as good as their match at Dominion last month. Solid main event though. However, Goto felt like not-as-much-a-top-guy here as opposed to two nights previous.

Night 11 - Single cam setup, no commentary. Interesting slate of matches.

Yano/Shibata - This was...bizarre. Every single thing about it.

Makabe/AJ - Pretty good match. Probably would have liked it even more if I was a) a little fresher while watching it and b) if it was presented in regular form. It's amazing how well AJ has solidified his position as one of the top guys in the company. There's not even a question about it at this point. And it's even more amazing when you consider that he was virtually an afterthought heading into 2015.

Naito/Ibushi - Two of the guys who have been the most impressive (for different reasons) this tournament face off here. Ibushi has been spectacular in the ring while Naito has gone a long way in establishing his delightfully devious new persona. Naito has gone from an off-brand Ibushi to standing on his own two feet at a shockingly rapid pace. This winds up being a pretty typical Ibushi match - which happens to be a lot of people's cup of tea.

Night 12 - I believe that this is the last night on the schedule that includes the crappy camera work. Also, things are starting to take shape in the standings as the top contenders separate themselves from the lesser competitors.

Honma/Anderson - Super fun match. Great one to wake up to. Anderson at his best and Honma being Honma. Rapid fire finishing sequence. Hot crowd. Didn't drag on too long. The platonic ideal of a G1 match.

Nakamura/Takahashi - This is the first Yujiro match I've watched of this tournament. He's one of those guys who does everything well as a wrestler except the "wrestling" part. Nakamura does a decent job carrying him here, though it seems like the Boma-Ye has reached Attitude Adjustment levels of ineffectiveness.

Ishii/Okada - Stablemates collide here. This match was fucking awesome. Both of these guys tend to fall into formula. That didn't happen here. Ishii brought out the hard-hitting side of Okada and Okada reined in Ishii's tendency to just stand in the middle of the ring and throw strikes until the crowd is tired of it. Came off like a true main event. Surprised this isn't getting hyped up more in the usual online circles. I suspect a lot of people skipped this show or didn't pay much attention to it thanks to the poor camera work. Or it happened on a Friday and other people are waiting until the weekend to watch it. Either way, this is definitely one to check out.

Night 13 - Back to top-level camera work here but still no commentary. This gets me caught up once again!

Ibushi/Fale - The nice thing about Fale is that he's not totally useless. Good wrestlers can have a halfway decent match working around Fale's limitations. And that's pretty much what happens here.

Yano/Naito - Yano starts off by trolling Naito hard and the crowd just eats it up. Fun stuff here. YTR is everything that Colt Cabana wishes he could be and Naito is such a dick.

Tanahashi/Shibata - These guys had a Meltzer-certified Five Star encounter last fall. So obviously this one is worth getting hyped over. This very much feels like an old-school New Japan main event. The extended grappling sequence at the start. The manhood-testing strike exchanges. It's slower paced than you might expect going into it but the intensity level is high all the way through. For two guys who supposedly despise each other in real life they have very good chemistry in the ring. Really good stuff here even though it felt far from definitive. I'd love to see another go at this match at next year's Tokyo Dome show.

Night 14 - An intriguing Sunday card ahead. This might just be the best night so far.

Anderson/Elgin - Really nice gaijin vs gaijin match. The crowd really loves Elgin. In many ways this is probably his most impressive match of the tournament so far. Anderson and the Bullet Club do a great job heeling it up (as always) in order to get the crowd squarely on the side of the newcomer. 

Okada/Takahashi - Okada, like most viewers, hates Yujiro. Yujiro does have a pretty sweet saxophone entrance going for him. Also, his sloppy, dangerous bumping helps make Okada's offense look all that much more effective. And his sloppy, dangerous offense makes it seem like he's going to literally kill Okada at any moment. There is interference all over the place with Cody Hall, Tama Tonga, and Gedo all getting involved. And god damn if this isn't a fantastic sports entertainment style match. Okada really rocks here. With a clear cut heel on the other side he's free to be the fiery babyface. I almost skipped this one but I'm glad I stuck with it. I don't watch New Japan for matches like this, but it's nice to know they're capable of executing it when they have to.

Honma/Nakamura - What a fascinating matchup. Nakamura beats the piss out of Honma from the very start. This built to a fever pitch in the second half as they started dropping bombs on each other. This was really awesome. Honma has become something like the Inverse Undertaker: no matter how sure I am that he's going to lose, he always convinces me at least a few times during an given match that this time he'll finally get the three count...

Ishii/Goto - The placement of this match as the main event is really interesting. They're really trying to portray Goto as a top guy during this tournament (and Naito as well). This isn't so much a match as a masochistic endurance test. These two absolutely destroy each other in one of the most brutal matches of this or any other year. This is like the finale of Rollerball come to life with the ring scorched by heat & fire and the crowd in a stunned frenzy. Ishii has a number of acknowledged classics, but this might be the best match of Goto's career (the Shibata series is the only thing that comes close).

Night 15 - This card looks kinda lackluster on paper. No commentary team but comprehensive camera setup.

Tenzan/Shibata - Good crowd heat but this was not great in and of itself. It ended and I remembered nothing about what happened.

Yano/Ibushi - Wow, blink and you'll miss this one. Once again, the crowd was on fire though.

AJ/Fale - Bullet Club members collide here. They do the whole split faction thing with the other Bullet Club bros trying to play peacemakers. But the crowd just doesn't know what to do and I feel like we saw a much better version of this in AJ/Anderson last year. Skip it.

Tanahashi/Makabe - The crowd is solidly on Makabe's side, proving that even rabid Japanese fans can be wrong sometimes. To be fair, Makabe is fired up here. Much like Randy Orton he's not afraid to mail it in sometimes. Luckily he decided to care in this match. It's also important to note that Makabe's offense looks much better when he's not being outshined by the likes of Shibata, Goto, and Ishii (Makabe is badly exposed in that type of match). He much better when he can hoss around with guys like Tanahashi and Okada.

Night 16 - Block B continues to bring the fire with a pretty awesome looking card. Same camera setup as last night and again no commentary. The other thing to watch out for here is that in the crowd there is a dude who is a dead ringer for Billy Corgan's late-stage doughy TNA booker persona. 

Goto/Elgin - A preview for ROH's show in Brooklyn! The Tokyo crowd continues to love Elgin. It is interesting to note, however, the disparity between an indie guy aping the hard-hitting Japanese style and a guy who grew up doing it against some of the best. This was solid though.

Nakamura/Kojima - Nakamura might be the truest tweener in the world right now as he works like he's gonna work no matter what the circumstances - and it either makes him a face in a given match or a heel. Kojima stepped in a time machine before this match or something. It didn't take him all the way back to 2005 or anything, but it took him back to 2011 or so. The dude can still throw a mean lariat and the crowd loves him. This made for a pretty fun match.

Nagata/Okada - Okada, decidedly not very good at being a tweener, plays a pretty clear heel here to the ever-popular Nagata. Nagata has looked his age in this tournament (the guy wrestled in WCW) but he was much more spry here. This is slow-paced with Okada working over the ribs of Nagata. Nice match here, though nothing to write home about.

Ishii/Honma - Rematch of the absolutely insane Five Star bought from earlier this year. Believe it or not, this took awhile to get going. It's like they were overthinking it. Nowhere near as good as their previous match (which is a harrowing match on an all-time scale) but a lot of fun regardless. And an emotionally charged finish that has been building for quite awhile.

Night 17 - The final night of Block A with AJ Styles and Tanahashi being the only two with a shot at winning (there is a highly unlikely Naito scenario as well). This is the first of three shows in a row at the Sumo Hall and the fourth show this week in Tokyo. It's a pretty weak looking card to be honest (Block A was really front loaded this year) so I'm skipping a lot of it.

Shibata/Gallows - I really just wanted one more Shibata match before the tournament ends. Plus, this seems like the type of situation where Gallows could actually work well. He doesn't have to do anything complicated - just hoss around the ring and get kicked really hard every so often. And that's pretty much exactly what this was. Not a bad match.

AJ/Tanahashi - Here we go! Predictable booking or not, this is the match that everybody wanted to see decide Block A. The last time these two met AJ took the Heavyweight title off of Tanahashi in one of the most shocking matches of the year. As expected this match was very very good most of the way. Had a very nice pace to it as it built toward the finish. And man, what a finish. The crowd was absolutely insane for the last few minutes of this and with good reason.

Night 18 - And now we get the final night of Block B. Goto, Anderson, Nakamura, and Okada are all still in contention, but this really comes down to the winner of the Okada/Nakamura match. A few interesting matches here as Block B comes to an end.

Ishii/Elgin - This sort of feels like a trans-Pacific mirror match with two squat bald dudes with no necks from different cultures squaring off. This match is pretty much exactly what you'd expect it to be. It's a nice way for Elgin to cap off his dream summer and I'd be shocked if he wasn't welcomed back to New Japan in the very near future. Hell, I'd watch an Elgin/Shibata match. He wasn't great with the main eventers since he never felt like he was on their level. But Elgin fits right into the midcard with guys like Goto, Ishii, and Honma. This was an awesome match.

Goto/Nagata - Goto has had a really great tournament turning in multiple Match of the Year quality contests. It helps to make up for last year when he was supposedly slated to make the finals before breaking his jaw. It's just one of the many bad breaks that Goto has had in his career. Hopefully he parlays this success into a nice run with the IC title. Pretty nice match here though it won't be one that stands out in my mind when I think back on this tournament.

Nakamura/Okada - The defacto semi-final match. Nakamura must win. Okada advances with a win or a draw. We'll see if that plays into the story of the match. It'll be even more interesting to see who the crowd backs here. Okada gets some early chants as the opening bell rings. This is a rematch of last year's G1 Finals which happened to be my pick for the best match of 2014. I was in Washington DC having just finished off a long night of World War One discussion. I stayed up all night with the great Hawaiian Brian. We woke up the whole house during the finish of the match. Okada hit three straight Rainmakers matching the torrential downpour that enveloped the Seibu Dome on that evening. This year the match starts with the two seeming to hold back on each other - understandable given their status as stablemates who have only faced off twice before. Okada breaks the truce first to a chorus of boos. It looks like he'll be playing heel here. He's been doing that quite a bit this tournament and I wonder if that will be permanent now that his business with the Bullet Club seems to be resolved (the one post-tournament edit I'll make here: maybe it's not quite over...). The middle of the match was very well done with both guys mixing up their usual routine. As for the third act...wow. Just brilliant. These two are wrestling geniuses and they have fantastic chemistry. Okada is my favorite wrestler and I live and die by the results of his matches in a way that I have for few others in my time as a fan.

Night 19: G1 Finals - The third straight night in the Sumo Hall and the sixth night in Tokyo in eight days. Usually that means a tired crowd but they seemed to be up for just about everything here - especially during the vastly superior seond half of the card. One non-wrestling thing of note was an appearance by Genichiro Tenryu (who was old even in 1989) challenging Okada to be his opponent in his retirement match.

Mascara Dorada & Taguchi & David Finlay vs. Liger & Tanaka & Komatsu - A mishmash of Young Lions, old guard juniors, and, uh...Mascara Dorada. This was basically just a collection of spots that turned out to be kind of a muddle. At the very least it looks like they're trying to add a little bit of character to the perpetually bland Taguchi.

Tenzan & Kojima & Captain New Japan vs. Nagata & Nakanishi & Jay White - My main man Jay White! Everyone else in this match is ancient, but plucky Kiwi Young Lion Jay White is in here for some reason too. I really want to see the kid wrestle someone good someday. Guess he'll have to settle for the Senior Tour until New Japan's version of NXT gets off the ground.

Yoshi-Hashi/Elgin - A nice cap to the tournament for Elgin. Yoshi is fairly over for a guy who never wins (sort of like a JV Honma). This was fun and the crowd really got into it. I'd expect Elgin to come back to Japan soon.

Sakuraba & Ishii & Yano vs. Takahashi & Tama Tonga & Fale - Multiman undercard hell continues. This was pretty dull other than YTR's antics.

Goto & Shibata & Ibushi vs. Honma & Makabe & Naito - Naito and Honma on the same team makes for a weird dynamic given that one is a dickbag heel and the other is about as underdog a face as you can get. This was so much fun. All the mini-feuds tied together in a way that was reminiscent of those old Survivor Series matches filtered through the great early 90s All Japan multiman tags. Of all the matches on the first half of the show this is the one to watch.

ReDragon/Young Bucks - Junior Heavyweight Tag Titles on the line here. Cody Hall interferes for the Bucks quite a bit and is put to good use at one point when he fireman carries O'Reilly right out of the arena. This started off as a run-of-the-mill, well-executed Jr. Tag match. But these two teams do this style better than anyone else and it's well worth tracking this one down.

KUSHIDA/Ricochet - KUSHIDA seems to be leading a Renaissance in the Jr. Division. A match with Ricochet should go a long way in helping that cause. These two did a great job of mixing high-flying, hard-hitting, and submission style. This was really good stuff. We're not matching the 90s heyday of the Jr. Division quite yet but KUSHIDA continues to represent the belt well.

Okada & Taven & Bennett vs. AJ Styles & Gallows & Anderson - This was pretty good when it was just AJ and Okada. However, the Heavyweight Tag Division continues to drag down these cards. Very interesting finish on this one.

Tanahashi/Nakamura - It's been a long month to get to this point. And it's all for the top two stars of the past decade to face off. Sure, it may have been better to get some new blood in the Finals. But, booking aside, this should be a hell of a match. Nakamura toys with Tanahashi in the first section by showing off his superior mat skills. Tanahashi then gets the upper-hand by working the knee. Nakamura in turn counters that with his superior striking skills. So the dynamic of the match then becomes Nakamura asserting his manhood while Tanahashi has to rely on shots to the knee and big bombs to stay in the fight. Nakamura controls but Tanahashi always has hope of making a comeback. It's an interesting way of portraying the company ace as an underdog. This theme played out over the course of the whole match. Things built to a peak for a convincing set of false finishes and then somehow it peaked again for the actual finish. The storytelling, intensity, and passionate crowd all combined to produce a match that may well be remembered as a classic.

Pool Troll and Beyond the Infinite

Most of my associations with music are tied to visuals. I don’t know if that’s actually very rare at all, but it feels unusual to me. It’s not so much music videos either - though, like most everyone in my general age range certain songs will forever be matched with imagery I first saw on MTV. I don’t think anyone who’s seen the “Sledgehammer” video could ever think of anything else while hearing that song. Sometimes it’s how a song was used in a movie. Sometimes I associate it with a party or a stretch of road at night or the look on the face of a girl I like.

I have a weird relationship with Pink Floyd in this sense. I associate their music with images, but not single images. I don’t associate them with any one thing. I associate many of their songs with many images all at once. And not because of drugs. Honestly. It’s because of my senior year of college.

Believe it or not, I was once considered to be very smart. I did very well in school - well enough to graduate a full semester early. Instead of going out into the real world and finding a job, however, I decided to stay on campus and just sort of...hang out. Now, even with a regular course load you have a lot of time on your hands during college. And when all you’re doing is working in a kitchen two hours a day and auditing one independent study, you end up with a whole lot of time to fill.

If you’ve ever been in a situation like this or if you’ve ever been unemployed or retired, you know that you end up picking up some strange hobbies. And I have picked up some very, very strange hobbies in my time.

One of the strangest of these was synchronizing music with movies. You’ve probably heard of synching the Dark Side of the Moon album with The Wizard of Oz. For most people that’s enough. For me, it was like a gateway drug into this whole world of endless possibilities. There’s actually a whole online community of people who do this as a hobby. Seemingly every popular movie of the past fifty years could be matched with an album. The results, of course, varied. Some produce amusing if incomplete spectacles. Some seemed as if they were audio/visual cocktails conjured up in mind of a crazy person - even crazier than the usual sort of person who got into this kind of thing. Some were quite impressive. What you consistently found, regardless of the quality of the end result, was that everybody gravitated toward Pink Floyd.

There’s a reason for that. A few of them, actually. First of all, unlike me, most of this community seemed to enjoy an herbally enhanced experience. Fair enough. Another reason is that they all know the basic moments of the Pink Floyd discography.thanks to the two highest profile syncs out there: Wizard of Oz with Dark Side of the Moon (colloquially known as The Dark Side of the Rainbow) and Alice in Wonderland with The Wall. There’s actually a third that I’ll come back to in just a moment.

The real reason probably has more to do with the nature of film editing itself. Most movies share similar rhythms as far as the motion of the actors and the cuts between camera shots go. You really start to notice that when you watch a film on mute with no real concern for the plot or the dialogue. There are exceptions, of course. Atypical filmmakers like Werner Herzog and David Lynch don’t really match up to outside music very well (at least not to Pink Floyd). But these exceptions only help to prove the rule: most films are shot and edited in a certain way. They follow a certain code of film grammar. And that grammar matches up remarkably well with the languid, dreamy music of Pink Floyd.

One filmmaker matches up with them so consistently that it borders on being creepy. And that’s Stanley Kubrick. It’s more than just the rhythm of the editing though.It’s the tonality, it’s the common themes, it’s the fascination with psychedelia and dreams. Whether it’s on purpose or not, these guys were made for each other.

You can sync up the HAL segments of 2001: A Space Odyssey with the Wish You Were Here album. Try pairing Meddle with The Shining. Full Metal Jacket lines up shockingly well with Dark Side of the Moon. I’ve always wanted to figure out how to sync up A Clockwork Orange with Animals but I’ve just never been able to select the right place to start. Speaking of Clockwork Orange, the beginning is claimed to have been originally paired with the “Atom Heart Mother” Suite only for Kubrick to decide later on to stick with synthesized versions of classical music. This little piece of trivia, which may or may not be true, helped launch a genuine conspiracy theory among people in this community.

Remember how earlier I mentioned that there was a third so-called “classic” of film synchronized with the music of Pink Floyd? Well that third case involves synching the “Jupiter and Beyond the Infinite” section of 2001 with the 23 minute Pink Floyd opus “Echoes.” And the conspiracy is that not only is it an intentional match on the part of Pink Floyd, but that it was actually meant to be the score of the film in the first place.

Like most conspiracy theories, you can at least see the line of logic that would lead one to that conclusion. Kubrick was no stranger to their music - or so people claim. Depending on which fan-produced web page you consult, Kubrick was anywhere from a diehard superfan who owned every album to someone who appreciated the “idea” of Pink Floyd without ever actually listening to their music. But it’s universally assumed that he had at least heard of them (which for some people is enough evidence). You also have the psychedelia connection. If you were living in England and you wanted to create a very modern, very experimental head trip of a film, there’s a good chance that you or someone in your braintrust would seek out Pink Floyd to provide the score. And most of all, when you watch the sync you just feel like it’s true. If life were a Werner Herzog documentary, this would absolutely be the case.

All that being said, it’s probably not true. But that doesn’t diminish how fascinating it is to pair the two. I vividly remember everything about the first time I watched it. Not so much for the incredible coincidences or the foundation-shaking marriage of audio and visual. I remember it for the gang that was by my side for this initial viewing.

I said earlier that none of this was influenced by drugs. That only applies to me. I appreciate that other people would enjoy heightening their senses for this sort of thing. When I first decided to watch this sync I recruited a few people of that mindset whom I thought might appreciate the experience. It also prevented me from sitting in a dark room by myself, which I was doing a bit too frequently at the time in my life. My proposal was met with a touch of skepticism. Even for them this was a strange way to spend an evening.

The ringleader of this group was a guy who went by the name “Pool Troll.” Pool Troll was a short little puff of pot smoke wrapped in a dirty hoody and topped with a shaggy bowl cut. He specialized in rocking out the funk music and captaining all of our intramural sports teams. He once got an “E” on a paper because the professor didn’t want to fail him but a D-minus was more than he deserved. His room, nicknamed “The Stump,” was the Penn Station of pot. Anyone who had a need to blaze, whether after class, before dinner, or during a party, did so in there.

The night we were going to watch, Pool Troll and some of his regulars went up to “The Stump” while I set up the TV and sound system in the basement. These syncs are very finicky things. If you’re off by even half a second you go from questioning the very foundations of sensory perception to questioning what the hell you’re doing with your free time.

Pool Troll and his cohorts eventually floated down to the basement and we simultaneously pressed play on the DVD and the iPod. To give you an idea of how this is supposed to play out, you start “Echoes,” the last track on the album Meddle, just as the final segment of the film begins. “Jupiter and Beyond the Infinite” sees the lone surviving astronaut Dave Bowman make contact with one of the monoliths that has appeared throughout the film. He is then transported through the cosmos, triggering the next stage of human development. It’s a mind-bending sequence of camera tricks, surreal imagery, and ideas that are equal parts baffling and enlightening. In the original film, sound in these scenes is essentially split into three parts. The first is music by composer Gyorgy Ligeti which accompanies Dave’s initial journey beyond the stars. Then comes near silence as Dave ages before his own eyes in a sort of intergalactic terrarium. Finally, the film revisits Richard Strauss’s Also sprach Zarathustra as the journey comes to a close. The ebbs and flows of “Echoes” follow a similar pattern. It feels right. It feels natural. It feels intentional. You find yourself really wanting to believe those “Pink Floyd were supposed to compose the score” conspiracy theories. I was entranced.

As the music began to fade I turned to Pool Troll for what I thought would be expert analysis. Again, this is a guy who once got an “E” on a paper. I asked him what he thought. Before answering he turned to his entourage for a moment of worldless deliberation like a sultan seeking consultation from his viziers.

“It was okay,” he said, perhaps a little begrudgingly. “But I have to admit that I’ve seen better visuals when I’ve smoked, put this song on, and just closed my eyes.” The rest of the gang nodded in agreement behind him. “The music sort of carries its own visuals.”

So maybe I am unusual. Maybe this need to match audio with visual, manifested in synching Pink Floyd with Stanley Kubrick, is something to which few other people can relate. I had always assumed that I could appreciate music in and of itself. But if I was only thinking about music in service to my visual memories, was I really appreciating it? I’d only been thinking about how the music changed the movie - never about how the movie might change the music.

The last seconds of “Echoes” drifted from the speakers as the Star Baby stared at us through the filmy glass of the basement TV. The stoners began to stir. The sync came to its conclusion and I was left with a philosophical question posed not by Kubrick but by Pool Troll.

Then something I hadn’t planned on occured. The album started over. The first track on Meddle is called “One of These Days.” It’s a pulsing, aggressive track with a chest-rattling baseline that still somehow manages to retain the interstellar tone of the rest of the album. And that first measure of reverberating bass hit just as the final frame of the film faded away and the credits began.

I froze where I stood, halfway between the couch and the DVD player. The stoners stared as the title cards flipped onto the screen in perfect synchronization with the song.

When the credits ended and the DVD reverted to the menu screen, Pool Troll, ever the philosopher, summed up the feelings of the group.

“That,” he said, “that was cool.”

Every time I’ve heard that song since, all I’ve been able to think about is standing in that basement, looking at that screen, momentarily entranced by nothing more than white text on a black background.